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Brazilian Big12 series, Episode 2/12: Vasco

2020.07.20 09:59 majinmattossj2 Brazilian Big12 series, Episode 2/12: Vasco

Previous episodes: Flamengo
In this series I will present each of the 12 Brazilian teams that together compose the "Big 12". My point is to make them more knowledgeable to you, since each one of these teams have their share of the Brazil national team success and of Brazilian club football accomplishments as a whole. I'll try to be as smooth, efficient and non-boring as I can. If the feedback is positive, I'll keep bringing more to this series. So ok, let's do this!
Method: I'll present the teams in a chronological order, from the oldest foundation (Flamengo-1895) to the latest one (São Paulo-1930). The order will be: Flamengo, Vasco, Fluminense, Gremio, Botafogo, Atletico Mineiro, Internacional, Corinthians, Santos, Palmeiras, Cruzeiro, Sao Paulo. How many of these have you heard of?
Extra clubs: Due to a high number of requests, I'll also present 3 teams who don't belong to the Big12, but are also considered big clubs in Brazil: Bahia, Athletico Paranaense and Coritiba. Welcome to the club!
Geographical reference: Before we start, I'd like to ask something very simple from you. I want you to keep in mind that these 12 teams are spread in 4 different States in Brazil. The club's State name is written below, next to the club's name. It has a direct link to Google Maps, so that you can check it out to make this experience more accurate.

Episode 2/12: Vasco (State: Rio de Janeiro), founded in 1898

State rivals: Flamengo, Fluminense and Botafogo

Stadium: São Januário (Capacity: 21.880)

Mascot: The Admiral

Major achievements: 1 South American Championship of Champions (1948), 1 Copa Libertadores (1998), 4 Brazilian Leagues (1974, 1989, 1997, 2000), 1 Copa do Brasil (2011), 1 Copa Mercosul (2000)

State League titles: 24 (Against Flamengo's 36, Fluminense's 31, Botafogo's 21)

PLAY AND LISTEN TO VASCO'S ANTHEM WHILE READING - Click here
Vasco da Gama, the Portuguese explorer who found a sea route to India in 1498, and Vasco, the Rio de Janeiro sports club founded by Portuguese immigrants in 1898
Vasco da Gama (1460 or 1469-1524) was a Portuguese explorer and the first European to reach India by sea, creating the first link between Europe and Asia by an ocean route, and marking the beginning of a sea-based phase of global multiculturalism.
Before Da Gama, other explorers had reached South Africa, but failed in discovering the eastern part of the African continent. Da Gama and his 170 men, however, went beyond the Cape of Good Hope as you can see in his sea route, and made it to India, thanks to the famous Arab navigator Ibn Majid he met in Kenya, who led them there.
In 1898 Rio de Janeiro, a group of Portuguese immigrants founded this sports club in Vasco da Gama's honor, 400 years after he had reached India and changed the world: his sea route to India would be honored with a diagonal white stripe in Vasco's crest, with a black background color referring to the unknown seas of the Orient, and a red Cross, dedicated to the religious Order of Christ.
The Football Club and the pioneers against racism
As most Rio de Janeiro sports club of the late 1890s, rowing was Vasco's first sporting activity, until a football department was created in 1915, so they could start at the 3rd division of the Rio de Janeiro State League (Carioca League), until they reached the 1st division in 1923.
However, their great football results at their first season in the Carioca 1st division would be overshadowed by elite club's protests against their black, brown, portuguese and even white, but poor, players. To avoid playing Vasco multicultural players, elitist and racist clubs of the time (like their rivals Flamengo, Fluminense and Botafogo) decided to form a parallel league, without Vasco, which would nevertheless last only one season.
Since Brazil's national league would only be created in 1959, the State Leagues were the main tournaments, where most Brazilian great players would be formed and then sent to the National Team. Vasco would be facing 3 main rivals at the State League, namely Flamengo, Fluminense and Botafogo, and also very traditional teams and World Cup feeders like Bangu, América and São Cristóvão. So, please, be respectful about the Brazilian State Leagues, because they were a big deal back then, and so it was until the 1980s. In the 1920s and 1930s, Vasco managed to win 5 State League titles, and provided Brazil with 7 players for the 1930, 1934 and 1938 World Cups.
1940s: the Victory Express
The first big era of Vasco came in the 1940s: between 1945 and 1952 they won 5 State League titles (3 of them unbeaten), and very notably the South American Championship of Champions in 1948, the direct and official precussor of the iconic Copa Libertadores, created in 1960, and also the inspirer of the European Cup, created in 1955. Vasco represented Brazil as the Rio de Janeiro State League champions of 1947, and played against the national champions of Argentina, Uruguay, Chile, Ecuador, Peru and Bolivia, in a round-robin system, all matches taking place in Santiago, Chile.
1948 South American Championship of Champions
Dates Matches
14/02 Vasco 2-1 Litoral/BOL
18/02 Vasco 4-1 Nacional/URU
25/02 Vasco 4-0 Deportivo Municipal/PER
28/02 Vasco 1-0 Emelec/ECU
08/03 Vasco 1-1 Colo-Colo/CHI
14/03 Vasco 0-0 River Plate/ARG
Vasco would face the 23 year old Di Stefano's River Plate in the last match, needing a draw to be crowned champions. In the first half, Vasco had a legitimate goal disallowed, and at the end of the second half, a penalty was given in River Plate's favor, but Labruna's shot was saved by goalkeeper Barbosa, thus guaranteeing Vasco's first continental trophy. Two years later in 1950, however, Barbosa would fall in disgrace after conceding the 2nd and World Cup-winning goal to Uruguay at minute 79, in a full Maracanã with 200.854 spectators - even if it wasn't really Barbosa's fault (28s video).
According to ClubWorldRankings.com, Vasco was the 2nd best team in the world in the 1940s, second only to the Italians of Torino. However, it is important to remember that European football was partially suspended in this decade due to the 2nd World War.
The show must go on! Vasco 4-3 Real Madrid, Vasco 7-2 Barcelona, and more (1957/58)
In the 1950s, with the addition of eventual World Cup stars Vavá and Bellini, Vasco's State League title finally came in 1956, after 4 years.
Regarded as South America's best team, Vasco was invited to prestigious friendly tournaments in France and Spain, in 1957. Vasco won the Tournoi de Paris against Di Stefano's, Gento's and Kopa's Real Madrid in the final, at a full Parc des Princes with 40.000 spectators in Paris, France. They beat them 4-3, with Vavá scoring once. French newspaper France Soir would report that "Real Madrid isn't the world's best team. About that, speak with Vasco". Some of the match highlights (including a struggle at 2-2) can be seen here (2mn39s video).
This South American victory inspired UEFA and Conmebol to create the Intercontinental Cup in 1960, in order to test the European champions against their South American counterparts.
Vasco would then win the Tereza Herrera, beating Bilbao 4-2, with 2 goals from Vavá.
Ten days later, a sonorous 7-2 against Copa del Rey champions, Barcelona, at Les Corts, Barça's former stadium. According to this Catalan newspaper's art, it was a racial football lesson from the black brazilians. Vavá scored twice.
In 1958, Vasco finally won the prestigious interstate Rio-Sao Paulo tournament in 1958, after finishing 2nd four times, and notably beating Pele's Santos 1-0. They also won the 1958 State League.
Vasco and Brazil World Cups in the 1950s
Vasco also had their share in great World Cup campaigns from Brazil, notably the trophy-winning one in 1958. In the table below you can see all World Cup players provided from Vasco to Brazil in 1950 and 1958, notably Ademir in 1950, and the 1958 champions Bellini (captain) and Vavá (2nd topscorer, with 5 goals).
World Cup Position Player Caps Goals
1950 GK Barbosa 17 0
1950 DF Augusto 20 1
1950 MF Danilo 27 10
1950 FW Ademir 39 31
1950 FW Chico 21 8
1950 FW Alfredo 4 1
1950 MF Ely 19 0
1950 FW Maneca 6 2
1958 DF Bellini (c) 51 0
1958 DF Orlando 30 0
1958 FW Vavá 23 14
The Roberto Dinamite Era (1971-1992)
This man's name speaks for himself. Dinamite numbers are mental: he scored 708 goals in 1110 matches for Vasco. He's the only brazilian player, alongside Pelé and Rogério Ceni, with more than 1000 matches for the same team in Brazil.
Dinamite played in a very stacked Brazilian League: names like Rivellino, Falcão, Zico, Sócrates, Cerezo, Careca, Bebeto, Romario, were spread in many different teams, making things more difficult to all of them. He was however able to win one Brazilian League in 1974, notably beating Pele's Santos, Falcao's Internacional and Dirceu's Cruzeiro on the finals, and also collect 5 State Leagues during his 19 seasons at Vasco. He was the Serie A topscorer in 2 editions and elected to the Best XI three times (1979/81/84). His best goalscoring season was 1981, when he scored 62 goals, and he is, to this day, the highest topscorer of the Brazilian Serie A, with 190 goals.
Dinamite would be part of the Brazil NT at the 1978 and 1982 World Cups. He didn't play in 1982, but found his way into the starting 11 in 1978: he had his first chance in the third and decisive group game against Austria, scored the winning goal (47s video), and played all 3 matches on the next group stage, scoring 2 more goals, both against Poland. Brazil lost to Argentina on the goal difference (8-5), and was eliminated in a very controversial way, due to Peru very strangely losing (1mn46s video) 0-6 to Argentina in the last group match.
A young named Romario
If Brazil still couldn't win a World Cup since the mighty 1970 team, and not even a Copa America since 1949, Vasco had been upbringing the solution for both problems. Not only he had a name, but also a provoking character: Romario made his professional debut in 1985, at the age of 19. With only 1.67m, Romario -nicknamed Shorty- played as a centre-forward, and scored 139 goals in 196 matches in the 4 seasons he spent at Vasco (1985-88), before being sold to PSV for US$ 6 million. He won, alongside Dinamite, 2 State Leagues and was Brazil's topscorer with 7 goals at their runner-up campaign at the 1988 Seoul's Olympic Games. Romario would go on to win the 1989 Copa America and the 1994 World Cup, ending Brazil's both titles drought.
Bebeto, the 1989 Brazilian League title and 3rd best player in the world
Curiously enough, both Romario and an old Dinamite left Vasco from the mid to the end of 1988: the former to PSV and the latter to Portuguesa, on a one-year loan. Without their incredible duo, Vasco bought the Flamengo and Brazil star Bebeto, who played as a forward, was 25 years old, and managed to lead Vasco to the Brazilian League title of 1989, beating Sao Paulo 1-0 (1mn10s video) in the final. Indeed, Bebeto had an outstanding 1989 season: champion and topscorer of the 1989 Copa America, elected best player in Brazil by Placar Magazine, best player in South America by El País Newspaper and 3rd best player in the world by World Soccer Magazine, beating names like Maradona, Baresi, Romario and Laudrup, but behind Gullit and Van Basten. Bebeto scored 10 goals in 18 matches for Brazil that year.
The 1990s Golden Era: the Brazilian NBA League and Vasco all-star squad
The 1990s was a great decade for almost all of Brazilian big teams, and it wasn't different with Vasco. They collected 2 continental titles, 2 Brazilian Leagues, 1 interstate Rio-Sao Paulo tournament and 4 State Leagues. In a country with at least 12 big teams, it's quite a notable achievement.
Vasco had an absurd collection of top level talent in this decade, at a time when Brazilian talents would stick around longer, or not even go to Europe. The Brazilian League was decided in play-offs, and had pretty much the north-american NBA vibes, in both matters of talent and format. The 1990s is considered the last decade of brazilian "root football", in the sense of being high-leveled and with an oldschool attitude. In the table below, a list with the notable players that have been at Vasco in the 1990s.
Player Years Apps Goals Brazil NT caps WC participations Europe
Romario 2000 72 66 70 2 (1990, 1994) Barcelona, PSV
Bebeto 1989-92 115 59 76 3 (1990, 1994, 1998) La Coruña
Edmundo 1992, 96-97, 99-00 146 114 39 1 (1998) Fiorentina, Napoli
Juninho Pernambucano 1995-01 295 56 40 1 (2006) Lyon
Juninho Paulista 2000-01 87 18 50 1 (2002) Middlesbrough, Atlético Madrid
Roberto Dinamite 1992 24 10 38 2 (1978, 1982) Barcelona
Bismarck 1987-93 185 128 13 1 (1990) -
Valdir 1992-94 143 71 - - Benfica
Dener (deceased at 23) 1994 17 5 2 - -
Luizão 1998 71 38 17 1 (2002) La Coruña, Hertha Berlin
Donizete 1998-00 110 34 9 - Benfica
Viola 1999-01 116 32 10 1 (1994) Valencia
Carlos Germano 1990-99 632 0 9 1 (1998) -
Ricardo Rocha 1994-95 94 3 42 2 (1990, 1994) Real Madrid
Mauro Galvão 1997-00 88 6 26 2 (1986, 1990) Lugano
Junior Baiano 2000-01 48 3 25 1 (1998) Werder Bremen
Felipe 1996-02 268 42 7 - Galatasaray
Amaral 1999-00 16 1 38 - Fiorentina, Benfica, Parma
Ramon 1996-00 176 61 6 - Bayer Leverkusen
Evair 1997 36 12 11 - Atalanta
Euller 2000-01 83 28 7 - -
Odvan 1997-01 280 13 12 - -
Zé Maria 1999 34 4 25 - Parma, Perugia, Internazionale, Levante
Special note to Dener, Brazilian gem that died in a car accident at 23. Maradona's reaction in this Vasco-Newell's Old Boys friendly in 1994 says it all. Dener got a standing ovation from the entire Argentine public when subbed off, and from Maradona aswell, who made sure to greet him at the end of the match.
Vasco began the 1990s winning an unprecedented three consecutive State League titles (1992/93/94) in the last years of Roberto Dinamite, Bebeto and Bismarck. The Rio de Janeiro State League of 1992 saw the upcoming of folkloric forward Valdir Moustache and of a future world class player, Edmundo, who scored 24 goals in 32 matches in his first professional season at the age of 20, also having his first chance at the Brazil NT.
It would be between 1997 and 2000 that Vasco big campaigns and titles would take place. In the 1997 Brazilian League, led by a fierce Edmundo who demolished the tournament with 29 goals in 28 matches, winning the title and the Brazilian Golden Ball. The final was against a stacked Palmeiras, that had 5 World Cup-winning players, and specially the number 10 Alex, the wronged. After two 0-0 ties, Vasco secured their 3rd Brazilian League title.
The Eternal Glory: the 1998 Copa Libertadores
In 1998, year of the club's centenary, Vasco won the State League, and also their 2nd continental trophy, the epic 1998 Copa Libertadores. Vasco went unbeaten in the knockout stage (5W-3D), defeating Dida's Cruzeiro, Ronaldinho's Gremio and the Argentines from River Plate before facing Barcelona de Guyaquil in the final. Highlights to the semi-final between Vasco and River Plate: in the first match in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil NT goalkeeper Carlos Germano made the difference with a very difficult save from Gallardo's (current River Plate coach) free-kick, thus securing Vasco the 1-0 victory.
Epicness at its greatest would happen in the 2nd leg between Vasco and River Plate, at the Monumental de Nuñez stadium, in Argentina. With River Plate winning it 1-0 and taking the match to extra time, at minute 81, Juninho Pernambucano scored this magnificent goal (59s video) from his trademark style, the free-kick. It would be considered, until today, the most important and memorable goal in the whole history of Vasco da Gama.
In the final against Barcelona de Guyaquil, Donizete opened the score with a tremendous shot (8s video) from the outside of the area, and future World Cup-winner Luizão closed it 2-0 (11s video) at home. The second match was a walk in the park, with the Cariocas winning 2-0 (first with Luizão, and then with Donizete) at half-time, and 2-1 at the end of match, therefore winning Vasco's first Copa Libertadores, and second continental trophy, after the South American Championship of Champions in 1948.
Victories against Manchester United and Santos, but huge deceptions against Real Madrid, Corinthians, Palmeiras and Flamengo
Despite dominating Real Madrid in the 2nd half, Vasco lost 1-2 to them at the 1998 Intercontinental Cup in Tokyo. Highlights to Juninho Pernambucano and his beautiful equalizer, at minute 56.
After a great centenary year, Vasco didn't perform as expected in 1999, winning only an interstate Rio-Sao Paulo tournament, beating Santos in the final. In 2000, Vasco finished 2nd three times in the first 6 months: in the Club World Cup to Corinthians, in the interstate Rio-Sao Paulo tournament to Palmeiras, and in the State League to Flamengo. Highlights to Edmundo amazing play and goal (1m05s video) in their 3-1 win against Manchester United in the Club World Cup group stage.
The greatest comeback in Brazilian football history: the 2000 Copa Mercosul final, and the 2000 Brazilian League title
After demolishing River Plate in the Copa Mercosul (2nd tier continental cup) semi-finals, Vasco would meet again with Palmeiras, that they had beaten in the 1997 Brazilian League final, but got knocked off by them of the 1999 Copa Libertadores in the ro16.
First match, in Rio de Janeiro, Vasco 2-0 Palmeiras. Second match, in São Paulo, Vasco 0-1 Palmeiras.
Third match forced, again in São Paulo, at the Palestra Itália stadium, December the 20th.
Both teams needed this title to save their traumatic seasons. While Vasco had already lost 3 finals in the same year, Palmeiras had lost the Libertadores finals to Riquelme's Boca Juniors, in the penalties, in what could have been their first back-to-back titles in the tournament.
The match started, and well, at half-time, Palmeiras were already leading it 3-0. In the second half, with 2 penalty goals from Romario at 59 and 68, Vasco were back to it, but had their CB Junior Baiano sent off at 77. Nevertheless, Juninho Paulista tied it at 85, and Romario completed his hat-trick with this goal at minute 93, Vasco thus being crowned the 2000 Copa Mercosul champions.
The season, however, wasn't finished yet. Vasco played the 1st leg of the Brazilian League final on the 27th December, ending in a 1-1 draw against Sao Caetano. After 150 people got hurt in an accident in the 2nd leg on the 30th December, the big final was rescheduled to January 18th 2001. On this day, Vasco beat Sao Caetano 3-1, with goals from Juninho Pernambucano, Jorginho Paulista and Romario. It was the 4th Brazilian League title in Vasco's history, and the end of a glorious era.
2001-today
Unfortunately, Vasco has been through more downs than ups since then, being relegated 3 times to the Serie B (2008/13/15), a negative record among the Brazilian big teams. The only seasons they've been able to replicate their glorious days were in 2011/2012, when they won their first Copa do Brasil in 2011, finished 2nd in the 2011 Brazilian League, reached the semi-finals of the 2011 Copa Sudamericana (continental 2nd tier cup) and also the quarter-finals of the 2012 Copa Libertadores.
To this day, Vasco has the 5th largest fanbase in Brazil, with around 10 million supporters spread across the country, and a stadium attendance average of 18.000, as of 2019.
If you have any questions about Brazilian football, feel free to join us at futebol, where you'll be very welcomed!
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2019.09.01 17:28 jeejador Pau farejador só traz dor

ano passado
conheci uma 8/10 na escola
acabamos nos aproximando e ficando algumas vezes
até que ela disse que queria que eu conhecesse os pais dela
falei que não queria nada sério
mas ela disse que era só uma desculpa pra me levar pra dentro de casa pra gente transar
estrategi.png
eu ainda tava meio desconfiado
olhei pro meu Malaquias farejador de transa
’’só vai’’ ele disse
se ele falou ta falado
só fui
no dia marcado cheguei na casa dela e a mina me atendeu
me levou até a sala aonde a mãe e o pai estavam esperando
os pais da mina eram bem padrões
a gente não conversou por mais de 10 minutos
’’foi um prazer Anderson’’
’’a gente tem umas coisas pra resolver agora, mas pode ficar à vontade’’
o pai dela disse e saiu com a mãe pra cozinha
foi mais fácil do que imaginei
’’vamo pro quarto’’ a mina disse me puxando
’’com seus pais em casa?’’ perguntei
’’não se preocupa, eles gostaram de você, não vão se importar’’
taporra.mp3
encontrei o sogro e a sogra dos sonhos
subi pro quarto com a mina
fechamos a porta e começamos a nós pegar
ela ficou só de blusa e calcinha
deitou na cama e abriu as pernas ‘’vem’’
o Malaquias farejador nunca falha
mas antes de eu empunhar minha espada ouvi algo
vários passos no andar de baixo
’’o que é isso?’’ perguntei
’’ah, são algumas pessoas chegando pra reunião da associação dos meus pais’’ ela disse
’’que associação?’’ falei
’’o KKK’’
’’qual é a graça?’’ perguntei
’’kkkk não bobo, o Ku klux klan’’
eoqporra.mp3
mcq ela disse essa merda
https://imgur.com/a/J0nxQwx…
levei um tempo pra processar
’’não tem problema pra você ne?’’
’’é algo super normal’’ ela disse
puta que pariu, normal o caralho sua demente
mas tentei manter a calma pra não fazer besteira
vai que a família dela abria uma exceção e fudia um branquelo
tentei pensar pelo lado positivo
enquanto eu for branco to safe
’’não, imagina, super normal’’ tentei disfarçar
’’então vamo continuar’’ ela disse
felizmente meu lendário ainda tava firme e forte na batalha
fui até a mina, comecei a abaixar a calcinha dela
quando abaixei dei de cara com o bigode do Hitler
sim, a mina depilou a bct no formato do bigode do Hitler
’’isso é..’’ tentei falar
’’o bigodin do Hitler’’ ela disse
’’por que..?’’ perguntei
’’ue, sou nazista, não te contei?’’
’’tenho até tatuagem, olha’’ a mina disse levantando a blusa
tinha uma fodenda suástica tatuada ao redor do umbigo
MAS QUE PORRA DE FAMILIA É ESSA?
dei um pulo pra trás em shok
’’olha, eu to meio nervoso, vou pegar água’’ falei
’’nervoso pq?’’ ela perguntou
pq será sua nazista do caralho?
’’é que tu é mto gostosa’’ falei
’’ata, faz sentido’’
’’volta logo. E trás água pra mim tbm’’
’’com gás..’’ ela sorriu
puta merda
desci pra pegar água já pensando em ir pra porta e correr
mas quando cheguei na sala tinha umas 10 pessoas com roupas e mascaras brancas do KKK conversando
pareciam um grupo de apoio dos zé gotinhas
olharam pra mim
olhei pra eles
’’salve’’ falei no cagaço
’’quer se juntar a gente, Anderson?’’
ouvi a voz do pai da mina
’’olha..eu sou muito imaturo sabe, não acho que to preparado’’ falei pressentindo a merda
’’deixa disso’’
’’não tem idade pra odiar o próximo, se aproxime’’
não tinha o que fazer, eu tava fudidasso
fui até eles e sentei no sofá
eles começaram a debater sobre diversas coisas
tentei manter o foco longe da conversa pra preservar minha sanidade mental
mas não teve jeito
quando eles acabaram de falar eu já tinha enfiado a sanidade mental no cu
’’e você Anderson?’’ o pai da mina perguntou
’’e-eu o que?’’
’’qual foi a primeira vez que vc bateu em um afrodescendente?’’
’’eu..eu nunc..’’ tentei falar
’’já mandou um coreano abrir os olhos?’’ outro perguntou
’’não eu..’’
’’já matou uma vaca na frente de um indiano?’’ outro falou
pensei seriamente em enfiar um rojão no cu e me matar
mas a mina apareceu nas escadas
’’tai você, por isso a demora’’
’’depois você conversa com meus pais, agora você é meu’’
ela disse me puxando do sofá e subindo as escadas comigo
dos males o menor, preferia ela do que a turma do Gasparzinho extremista
foda que o lendário já tinha broxado
eu teria que fingir que meu pau era comunista pra fuder aquela bct nazista
antes da gente entrar no quarto meu cll tocou
era meu melhor amigo, vulgo batata
vi a luz no fim do túnel
falei pra mina entrar no quarto que eu já ia
atendi
’’eae mano, traçou a mina la?’’ ele perguntou
’’batata, eu to fudido, escuta bem’’
expliquei tudo que rolou pra ele
pedi ajuda
’’tu ta dizendo que tem uma reunião do KKK’’
’’e quer que eu, que sou negro, te busque?’’ ele perguntou
’’bem..’’ tentei falar
’’já to indo, vou pegar meu taco’’ ele disse
’’q?..taco? espera’’ falei mas ele desligou
conhecendo o batata ia dar muita merda
se fosse pra mim morrer ia ser dps de uma foda insana
entrei no quarto pra encarar o bigodinho do Hitler
tracei a mina com a fúria de 1000 meninas de 13 anos ao ver alguém falando mal de kpop
quando acabou fiquei refletindo enquanto a mina se vestia
eu já poderia ir embora de boa
foi exagero ligar pro batata
ia ligar pra falar que eu não precisava mais de ajuda
foi quando a campainha tocou
’’a pizza chegou’’ alguém gritou fora da casa
eu conhecia a voz de algum lugar
’’eles pediram pizza e nem avisaram pra gente’’
’’vamo la’’ a mina disse pra mim
me vesti e sai com ela
a gente tava no topo da escada quando um dos caras vestidos de branco atendeu a porta
’’O NEGÃO CHEGOU PORRA’’
só vi o batata entrando e descendo o taco na cabeça do maluco
o cara caiu que nem merda
’’QUE PORRA É ESSA?’’ todos os outros levantaram e foram pra cima do batata
meu amigo não seus porra
desci as escadas correndo
’’ANDERSON?’’ a mina gritou
cheguei na voadora e derrubei outro
’’TRAIDOR’’ ouvi o pai da mina gritar
traidor de cu é rola
a gente desceu o pau nos filhos da puta um por um
maioria eram velhos
’’IRMÃO, A GENTE PRECISA DE AJUDA’’ a mina gritou
irmão?
ouvi uma porta abrindo e apareceu um maluco de uns dois metros no corredor
veio até a gente
fudeodevez.png
eu já não esperava nada dessa família
’’e esse ai é o que? Satanista?’’ perguntei pressentindo a morte eminente
’’não, otaku’’
’’cuidado que eu moido’’ ele disse
VAI SE FUDER
dei um chute no saco do maluco
ele caiu de joelhos e o batata quebrou uma cadeira na cabeça dele
missãocompleted.png
só sobrou a mina
’’vcs não podem tocar em mim’’ ela disse quase chorando
’’eu não bato em mulher’’ falei
’’nem eu’’ o batata disse
’’mas bato em nazista’’
’’eu tbm’’
terminamos o serviço e vazamos
o batata rindo pra crl e eu quase chorando
to devendo favores à ele pro resto da vida
e aprendi uma valiosa lição
nunca confie no pau farejador
ele só pensa em bct
até as nazistas
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2017.10.08 22:33 thunderbottom Mais alguém tinha um medo fatal de um anúncio do Totta e Açores, de 1996/1997?

Quando eu tinha 3 ou 4 anos, passava um anúncio na TV com um homem a olhar pelo óculo de uma porta e eu entrava em absoluto pânico. Também tinha uma raposa, talvez. O homem tinha óculos e um bigode, era careca, e acho que era relativamente magro mas podia ser a distorção do óculo. A minha mãe diz-me que depois ele ia para o colo de uma senhora, sentada numa cadeira, mas não recordo.
Fiz este post para ver se alguém me pode elucidar em como era mesmo o enredo do anúncio. Talvez até meter aqui um vídeo, que eu não encontrei nada. Obrigado deste já!
edit: elaborei uma tentativa de desenho do que visualizo na minha mente 20 anos depois
submitted by thunderbottom to portugal [link] [comments]


2017.06.06 17:10 subreddit_stats Subreddit Stats: portugal top posts from 2011-10-22 to 2017-06-05 16:08 PDT

Period: 2053.22 days
Submissions Comments
Total 999 53616
Rate (per day) 0.49 26.10
Unique Redditors 518 4944
Combined Score 167025 284883

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 11123 points, 60 submissions: Vasco_da_Gamba
    1. Obrigado Bo, por 8 anos de espionagem ao serviço do Estado Português (603 points, 42 comments)
    2. Não há impossíveis na vida.Nunca desistas. (549 points, 47 comments)
    3. Cavaco a masturbar-se (469 points, 20 comments)
    4. É desde tenra idade que o Português aprende a desenrascar-se (438 points, 31 comments)
    5. [NSFW] Dizem que a Sara Sampaio tem o peito pequeno. Esta imagem diz o contrário. (367 points, 67 comments)
    6. Não há nada mais português do que o Desenrascanço (346 points, 60 comments)
    7. Harrison Ford a festejar a vitoria em Portugal (312 points, 16 comments)
    8. Fatima's Alive 2017 (by:Vasco Correia) (301 points, 36 comments)
    9. AccidentalRenaissance (283 points, 13 comments)
    10. Graffiti na Damaia feito pelo Odeith (278 points, 53 comments)
  2. 8785 points, 1 submission: ruisao
    1. Somos Campeões, vamos meter a nossa bandeira na frontpage! (8785 points, 551 comments)
  3. 7263 points, 35 submissions: ForeverJamon
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    4. Tinder em Portugal (x-post from /tinder) (425 points, 281 comments)
    5. Finalmente, aqui está a receita dos lanches. (388 points, 88 comments)
    6. [Lifehack] Quando vais às compras e não tens moedas para o carrinho (290 points, 67 comments)
    7. [Receita] F-R-A-N-C-E-S-I-N-H-A (259 points, 155 comments)
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    9. [Receita] Bolo de bolacha a tempo da ceia de consoada (191 points, 35 comments)
    10. [Receita] Bolo de iogurte para totós (184 points, 66 comments)
  4. 3227 points, 17 submissions: HelloMyNameIsLola
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    8. Oremos irmãos... (171 points, 9 comments)
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  5. 3180 points, 12 submissions: ohhputosopaa
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  6. 1682 points, 12 submissions: pica_foices
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    2. "Chuta daí caralho !!" - o vídeo com o comentário e perspectiva que faltava (208 points, 47 comments)
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    7. Benni McCarthy festeja de novo golo de Portugal na TV (117 points, 5 comments)
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    9. José Carlos Noronha, o médico dos craques: “O Ronaldo pede-me artigos científicos para ler” (99 points, 18 comments)
    10. Membro do Twitter cria conta falsa. Elabora boato sobre jogador e acaba na capa do Record. (99 points, 72 comments)
  7. 1673 points, 7 submissions: fijozico
    1. GANHÁMOS A EUROVISÃO CARALHO! (670 points, 135 comments)
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    6. Os polícias ODEIAM-NO! (106 points, 22 comments)
    7. À luz do #BREXIT... (106 points, 20 comments)
  8. 1650 points, 12 submissions: fanboy_killer
    1. Os húngaros andam trocados (207 points, 73 comments)
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    6. Já viram o creep na nova campanha da Cetelem? (128 points, 58 comments)
    7. Nenhuma outra marca domina o social media como a Netflix Portugal (123 points, 13 comments)
    8. Selecção portuguesa de futebol nos anos 90 (119 points, 18 comments)
    9. Eurodeputados pedem investigação a alegada tortura de homossexuais na Chechénia. PCP absteve-se (114 points, 41 comments)
    10. The European country that loves being sad (103 points, 95 comments)
  9. 1632 points, 1 submission: nohopedude
    1. Portugal vence Eurovisão 2017 (1632 points, 186 comments)
  10. 1585 points, 13 submissions: sup3rfm
    1. A "alegria" de Danilo - PORTUGAL NO EURO2016 (205 points, 31 comments)
    2. Ministério da Saúde quer “responsabilizar” pais que não vacinem filhos (195 points, 106 comments)
    3. Acima da lei, só a EMEL. (135 points, 47 comments)
    4. Vai tudo para casa. Voltem amanhã. (127 points, 31 comments)
    5. 1º Ministro de Portugal em 2019 (121 points, 79 comments)
    6. Polish gay couple wins right to marry in Portugal thanks to their haters (120 points, 62 comments)
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    10. Madeira retira "comida de plástico" de todos os edifícios públicos (96 points, 33 comments)
  11. 1439 points, 6 submissions: odajoana
    1. Receita portuguesa vegetariana (466 points, 131 comments)
    2. Criei um cartão de Bingo para o /portugal. Divirtam-se! (285 points, 106 comments)
    3. Marcelo. #foreveralone (270 points, 39 comments)
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    6. Criei uma playlist no Tubo em jeito de balanço do que se fez musicalmente em Portugal em 2015. Estou a esquecer-me de alguém? (110 points, 76 comments)

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  328. Lebronze_James (169 points, 22 comments)
  329. iamfromreallife (168 points, 16 comments)
  330. SilverTroop (168 points, 10 comments)
  331. Dockelektro (167 points, 44 comments)
  332. h8mx (167 points, 18 comments)
  333. emerl_j (166 points, 49 comments)
  334. josefagundes (166 points, 13 comments)
  335. jfredsilva (166 points, 9 comments)
  336. HoodSniper (165 points, 156 comments)
  337. boywithtwoarms (165 points, 36 comments)
  338. KneeDeepInTheDead (163 points, 49 comments)
  339. Sportsman18 (163 points, 30 comments)
  340. hugocarv (162 points, 24 comments)
  341. 2TwentyOne1 (162 points, 10 comments)
  342. taoleaf (161 points, 28 comments)
  343. betweenwordsandstars (161 points, 11 comments)
  344. KawaiiHP (160 points, 20 comments)
  345. Quillergs (160 points, 18 comments)
  346. sw3t (159 points, 29 comments)
  347. Paulocas (159 points, 26 comments)
  348. Jataki (159 points, 25 comments)
  349. Olbrien (159 points, 10 comments)
  350. alarka (158 points, 36 comments)
  351. usulidircotiido (158 points, 30 comments)
  352. unknown_believer (158 points, 28 comments)
  353. inquiett (158 points, 23 comments)
  354. AbaixoDeCao (158 points, 22 comments)
  355. pha3dra (158 points, 21 comments)
  356. TTRO (157 points, 23 comments)
  357. Amilcar_Alho (157 points, 21 comments)
  358. Kratos73 (157 points, 19 comments)
  359. bacitoto-san (157 points, 4 comments)
  360. mrBlonde (156 points, 58 comments)
  361. XerGarrilha (156 points, 5 comments)
  362. WesternMojo (156 points, 2 comments)
  363. EsquiloRaiboso (155 points, 22 comments)
  364. tagliatelli_ninja (154 points, 30 comments)
  365. vaurdan (154 points, 28 comments)
  366. mruiandre (153 points, 27 comments)
  367. Ambissinistro (152 points, 15 comments)
  368. AStrangerIntheWorld (151 points, 59 comments)
  369. anti_r_portugal (151 points, 51 comments)
  370. rmvt (151 points, 19 comments)
  371. lonesomegalaxy (151 points, 12 comments)
  372. osamabeenganking (150 points, 78 comments)
  373. ilawon (150 points, 28 comments)
  374. Hindead (150 points, 3 comments)
  375. SuperLazyUnicorn (149 points, 70 comments)
  376. A_Besuga (147 points, 45 comments)
  377. klatez (147 points, 36 comments)
  378. Capitao_Falcao (147 points, 13 comments)
  379. Executer13 (146 points, 20 comments)
  380. presidentedajunta (146 points, 14 comments)
  381. LunaticHeart (146 points, 7 comments)
  382. death-is-a-lady (145 points, 31 comments)
  383. karnarius (145 points, 18 comments)
  384. cona_de_sabao (145 points, 8 comments)
  385. Warzitec (144 points, 22 comments)
  386. zemike (144 points, 16 comments)
  387. niroh (143 points, 27 comments)
  388. ToNaPista (143 points, 17 comments)
  389. Spicy_food (142 points, 37 comments)
  390. alexandresmog (142 points, 22 comments)
  391. urrinor (142 points, 12 comments)
  392. trufas (141 points, 38 comments)
  393. SymphoDgenx (141 points, 20 comments)
  394. quatrotires (140 points, 48 comments)
  395. oblivion2g (140 points, 33 comments)
  396. chauffage (140 points, 32 comments)
  397. mglsts (140 points, 14 comments)
  398. FelixSula (139 points, 35 comments)
  399. ncryptdntllgnc (138 points, 1 comment)
  400. Joselini (137 points, 21 comments)
  401. O_Senhor (136 points, 30 comments)
  402. Mandraker (136 points, 15 comments)
  403. SterBlich (136 points, 11 comments)
  404. randominternetdude (135 points, 32 comments)
  405. JCFD (135 points, 22 comments)
  406. Elril (135 points, 19 comments)
  407. nesciopt (135 points, 13 comments)
  408. mkgilligan (135 points, 10 comments)
  409. dyrikaas (135 points, 1 comment)
  410. foxiri (134 points, 38 comments)
  411. odraciRRicardo (134 points, 16 comments)
  412. radar_kadafi (134 points, 4 comments)
  413. jm7x (133 points, 38 comments)
  414. ahab_ (133 points, 24 comments)
  415. RedRoseRing (133 points, 6 comments)
  416. this_account_is_mine (132 points, 30 comments)
  417. hal-nine-thousand (132 points, 17 comments)
  418. MikeHuntOG (131 points, 9 comments)
  419. knoxvox (130 points, 36 comments)
  420. DonSteppedOutside (130 points, 24 comments)
  421. spotster (130 points, 24 comments)
  422. findmeout888 (130 points, 18 comments)
  423. recycledcoder (130 points, 14 comments)
  424. brejeiro_mor (130 points, 13 comments)
  425. macafeu88 (129 points, 21 comments)
  426. wannabelikeme (129 points, 12 comments)
  427. puppetz666 (129 points, 5 comments)
  428. antz425 (128 points, 32 comments)
  429. Alvalade (128 points, 27 comments)
  430. cenourinhapt (128 points, 19 comments)
  431. poloport (127 points, 71 comments)
  432. _mdx_ (127 points, 44 comments)
  433. WalterHenderson (127 points, 17 comments)
  434. cv990 (127 points, 14 comments)
  435. sodizesmerda (127 points, 5 comments)
  436. Monadart (127 points, 3 comments)
  437. artt123 (126 points, 12 comments)
  438. gugulo (125 points, 38 comments)
  439. Robodachi (125 points, 25 comments)
  440. GioGaribaldi (125 points, 19 comments)
  441. bernoit (125 points, 17 comments)
  442. carpinttas (124 points, 30 comments)
  443. Souto_Linho (124 points, 14 comments)
  444. joka0paiva (123 points, 29 comments)
  445. X__Alien (123 points, 20 comments)
  446. Joker137 (123 points, 15 comments)
  447. JorgeNPintoDaCosta (123 points, 8 comments)
  448. MarquesSCP (122 points, 25 comments)
  449. paaulo (122 points, 15 comments)
  450. EdKord (121 points, 30 comments)
  451. lizardking93 (121 points, 22 comments)
  452. JeLoWa (121 points, 1 comment)
  453. theblackcereal (120 points, 37 comments)
  454. babyscully (120 points, 29 comments)
  455. Captain-Davy (119 points, 15 comments)
  456. throwawaypeidei (119 points, 8 comments)
  457. _petrus_ (119 points, 5 comments)
  458. bernarddit (118 points, 55 comments)
  459. ThatLawyalGuy (118 points, 34 comments)
  460. h2xtreme (118 points, 28 comments)
  461. Blair_84 (118 points, 23 comments)
  462. MCbadboy (118 points, 5 comments)
  463. lintteaand (118 points, 2 comments)
  464. Royalflush0 (118 points, 1 comment)
  465. lesnake (117 points, 34 comments)
  466. Olissipo (117 points, 25 comments)
  467. Phaellow (117 points, 15 comments)
  468. vartender (117 points, 13 comments)
  469. rockinoutloud (117 points, 12 comments)
  470. fortean (116 points, 25 comments)
  471. GrimKriegor (116 points, 15 comments)
  472. aGuyFromReddit (116 points, 6 comments)
  473. runneronreddit (115 points, 30 comments)
  474. Stiffori (115 points, 22 comments)
  475. MrFerrero (115 points, 9 comments)
  476. postpostrocker (114 points, 33 comments)
  477. HRamos_3 (114 points, 25 comments)
  478. ProfessorKaramba (114 points, 19 comments)
  479. dark_bug (114 points, 18 comments)
  480. Cardeal (113 points, 43 comments)
  481. Thaliost (113 points, 30 comments)
  482. EstimulumVitae (113 points, 22 comments)
  483. aglassofportwine (113 points, 13 comments)
  484. xXx_Bacalhau_xXx (112 points, 20 comments)
  485. trololway (111 points, 28 comments)
  486. luismepereira (111 points, 25 comments)
  487. AvatharPT (111 points, 18 comments)
  488. abc1efg2 (111 points, 12 comments)
  489. 42deep-thought (111 points, 4 comments)
  490. _MiguelPT_ (111 points, 4 comments)
  491. NightmarishPT (110 points, 58 comments)
  492. stuffirianz (110 points, 34 comments)
  493. JohnyGPTSOAD (110 points, 17 comments)
  494. O_bigodes (110 points, 14 comments)
  495. MunchingCoffee (110 points, 2 comments)
  496. neapo (109 points, 41 comments)
  497. Goldenrah (109 points, 29 comments)
  498. chickenoflight (109 points, 19 comments)
  499. Tephlon (109 points, 17 comments)
  500. xperzik (109 points, 17 comments)

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Top Comments

  1. 658 points: Greatmambojambo's comment in Somos Campeões, vamos meter a nossa bandeira na frontpage!
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  6. 310 points: Popoplop's comment in Portugal vence Eurovisão 2017
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