On Alicia Keys dating

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
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2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
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2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:11 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 23:07 ceyes96951 Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances

Watch> Billboard Music Awards Live Online~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Watch Now>>https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
Watch> Billboard Music Awards ~!~ 2020 Billboard Music Awards ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 ~!~ Billboard Music Awards 2020 Watch Online: Where to live stream BTS, Demi Lovato, other performances
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Date:
The annual awards show, pushed from the summer due to COVID-19, will take place on October 14 (EST). The awards show will be hosted by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson. Kelly will be seen hosting for the third time in a row.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations:
Post Malone, Lil Nas X, Billie Eilish, Khalid and more have been nominated this year. Check out the complete nomination list here: Billboard Music Awards 2020 Nominations: Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish up for Top Female Artist; BTS gets 2 nods
Billboard Music Awards 2020 performers:
This year, BTS returns to the stage and hopefully, we'll watch them set the stage on fire again with Dynamite. Apart from the Bangtan Boys, the ceremony watches Alicia Keys, Bad Bunny, Demi Lovato, Garth Brooks, John Legend, Luke Combs, Post Malone, Saint Jhn and Sia among many others who will bring the house down.
Billboard Music Awards 2020 Time:
The BBMAs 2020 start at 8 p.m. ET. Here's a country-wise breakdown:
The US: 5:00 pm PT
https://bit.ly/3j5WroI
submitted by ceyes96951 to fttvhd [link] [comments]


2020.10.14 22:48 diccface69 Bruh moment

Random story, read if you want, it you do please, I might need some advice after On.
Call this a « crush » shoes if you want, but what I felt for her was gas beyond just love, and all I got was pain.
Random story, don’t care if you don’t want to
So a number of years ago I went from private school to public school (for complex reasons) and I doesn’t a year in public school (again for reasons to complex and not the subject of this story). The lints being the transition was hard but I managed to make my way through a years of public school where I was essentially a new kid. That year was the last year of elementary school, and boom next year yet again I was a new kid cuz I started middle school. Obviously being the restate that I was (still am) I arrived late on the first day and didn’t get to pick me seat like literally every other kid that year and found my self all the way in the front sitting next to a girl (you can imagine the humiliation let me remind you that the kids were 12 to 13 and I was 11 cuz I skipped a grade). In addition I was a to social so I mavericks actually came to hanging out with the kids in my class until late in the last year. Anyways, coming back to that day I was basically embarrassed and literally kept my head turned the other way the whole day and didn’t even take a single look at the girl sitting next to me. The next day I can go school and it was a normal school day (normal for me) and during the day I didn’t really pay attention in class but rather just daydreaming and thinking random funni things, but especially I was thinking all the most random things about the girl that was stirring next to me. In the following week I stated paying more and more attention to the girl next to me and we would engage in some brief conversations. During those weeks I especially started to notice that that girl wasn’t originally how I imagined her at all. Across those days, in my opinion, she gradually because prettier and prettier and more interesting. She was nice and sweet and frankly really cute. (Just writing the previous sentence I literally shed a tear) across the days I grew gradually more interested in her until I remember very clearly the Thursday of the third week of school when we talking during math class I realized that I really loved her. We were sitting next to each other in our home room class which means we were next to each other in every class but one, physics. Over the months I grew obsessed about her. I didn’t talk with any friends from school, and she was only person to whom I talked. I spent all my time after school texting her and waiting for her to respond, which she should, eventually, .. sometime... I stalked her during recesses and school breaks, she was always in the corner of my mind. The point being that it was obsessive love. Then came the third of the year, when the home room teacher would redraw the class plans, after that day I was no longer sitting next to her, I temper that day when the teacher shows us the new class plans I was really sad that I was holding back tears for the rest of the day. I was so in love with her that just not not aging next to her out me in tears, tgat day after school I cried in the shower just like in the weekend (because it was a Friday). During the weekend I wouldn’t talk to anyone, up to that pint in my life, it was the closest thing to depression that I had ever experienced. The following Monday I decided to do something about it (or at least in my mind) it was very subtle but I basically that day cane and sat next to her in physics, the one class that wasn’t in the home room classroom. I feast so happy in that single moment because the girl didn’t seem to have any problems with it if anything, from what I can remember, she even has a genuin smile I’m that moment. Now that same thing continues between us, but we were only sitting next to each other in one subject. Fast forward to near the end of the war when yet again in the home room classroom there is a new class plan drawn. This time she finds herself sting next to another guy, with whom she seems to talk a lot. Initially it didn’t seem like a problem to me and we’d still talk because I was stirring just a row in front of her. For the sake I’ll call that guy Samuel. There was a school project we had to do in groups of three and the girl and her best friend jumped together to form a groups of two and then me and Samuel were left. The girl jumped to ouch me almost without any hesitation. I was so happy because in that moment Samuel was no longer problem for me in my mind. Then the end of the year came, all of the events during that year happened simultaneously me being semi bullied by another guy (in retrospect you’ll see the importance) that for the sake I’ll call Remy. Then the summer holidays come, I go to visit some family in an exotic place, with still exchanging texts with this girl. I remember that i was extremely happy for some reason because she used a heart emoji fir the first time (not for me but to show appreciation for a picture of a the beach I was near that I sent her), but I was just happy I got a message from her with “😍” in it. I also know that despite being on a holiday to visit family I ignored them most of the time in favor of texting this girl. Not it’s next year. We comeback to school, this time the teacher chooses the class plan form the beginning of the year but me and the girl still choose to sit next to each other in physics. Multiple times during the first couple of weeks the physics teacher send me to the corner because I’m talking to the girl too much. Nothing peculiar about the beginning of this year, then come the October holidays, when I send her a text message and it takes her 3 days before she answers. I get really really sad (I’m not even going to attempt to describe it) and that sadness transformed into anger. And u just started ignoring all of her text messages for like 3 months and even an school starts ignoring her in class. Yes I’m an asshole. And then in addition, near the end of the year during a school camp I see her talking abundantly to this kid Samuel again. That strikes a nerve for me, and just like when we switched seats for the first time in first year, another wave of depression came. I was depressed and mad simultaneously and that affected both my results at school and mental health and life at home. Then came that one single day at the end of the second year that was the most hopeful thing ever, some kids in my class planned to go to the pool and me and that girl happened to both be there. Note that this is the first time that I have hung out with kids in my class after school, I’m addition on a Saturday. During that day at the pool, the girl was consistently moving away from Samuel to come play with me, even when we were going back home, she insisted to abandon Samuel and let him go his own way and made a stupid but pleasant excuse for me to take the longer way to go to my house but spend the most amount of time with her. That day was the day during which I asked myself the most amount of questions about why what happened had happened and the day during which I stopped ignoring her and started texting her again. From that day I left the bubble of depression. And has a generally normal summer compared to the previous one, I texted her a lot. The only thing was that Remy didn’t want me to come to the pool party, the one that marked hope in that point if my life. Then certain things happen at home, during that summer I’m mostly close to my family and my dad gets a promotion, was a big yay for the family and we bought a bigger car and I could finally afford a red iPhone. In addition, near the end of that school year my mom gave birth to my baby sister.
Now comes the third year of high school. The best of my life is far behind me at this point. This was the year in my life when god turned against me. From this point on, there’s no more innocent childish me.
In addition, I had started to put into question beliefs that my mother raised me in, started to get interested in how people think societies, etc .. I was slowly become more and more political. Too political.
The year resumed, this time near the beginning of the year I didn’t have as much interactions in class with that girl, we were still texting each other from time to time though. The third week of school, our class went on a field trip to the south of France. During that feels trip Remy started to act even more sower towards me and I found the girl talking more often to Samuel. I went though another phase of depression for a couple of months until one day we can’t finish our homework in advance in physics, she proposed that one day we go eat lunch together and after work. In my mind that idea was screaming date. So we had lunch that day and worked after and that was the single best day of my life. I know very well that never again will I ever experience such innocent joy. Every single minute of that day of gold and I’m give my whole life just to be able to relive seconds of it. Still remember that I took a rivella and a tuna sandwich and she took a plain water chicken and guacamole rap and caraque. She was so beautiful that day. If I had the chance, I would have married her and killed my self for I would that no point in my life ever again would even compatibly reach the amount of joy that I would have endured in that moment. We constituted to talk via text message for the next couple days. Until next week she sent me a message at 6am and asked me to tell the teacher that she would be sick. Her trusting me, her practically going on dates with me, I was at that moment ready to tell her that i loves her, but I kept myself from doing so. Instead, I told her that she would miss work from being sick, and I proposed to go eat our again and work just like the previous week. The trend of going and eating out together under the pretext of work continued for several weeks but they were never like the first time. I kept on screwing then up by making stupid remarks because I felt overconfident and wanted to ce funny in front of her. Or dumb remarks I would make in front a « friend » (a choosing beggar) in physics to whom I’m swear or that I’d gossip about. Nonetheless, she still sat next to me, we still ate together we still talked and remained friends, even though i hoped for more. Then came Christmas of that year, at school we all watched movies in class all day long, and she stared talking to Remy for the first time that day. I was sad, but I still didn’t see him as a threat to me, well to me hoped relationship with that girl, he still semi bullied me. I just played with the flow, I acted as if nothing happened and we still talked at usual. For new year she sent me a happy new year selfie, with my face I couldn’t do the same back. Now we come back in January and people are taking about a party the school’s going to organize. I find a way to mess up and Remy scores points with that girl again, I feel terrible and depression. We aren’t eating out together on a regular basis anymore. Then comes February. Everybody’s taking about a new protest where most kids are going to be walking out of the school for. In art class the teacher basically sets a workshop and kids that wanted to go to the protest could make their banners, I wasn’t going to protest because I grew so political at the point that even if I could not go to school for one day if it meant representing a political position I didn’t like, I wouldn’t do it. So essentially I stayed on my phone the whole art class and stayed on my phone unaware of anything. The girl gets a suspicious letter and she asks me for advice, because at this point I’m pretty close to her. She was seriously considering throwing it in the garbage, but out of curiosity, I persuaded her not to throw the letter in the garbage but to keep and open it and see what’s in it.
(This is the point of my life where I should have just killed my self just not to have to live the rest. After this point, the amount of days I’ve been happy can literally be counted on my hands: 6 days. Every single other day from this points has been lived in immeasurable amount of pain well tucked u def the thickest and sorrowest blanket of depression.)
It was a love letter from Remy. The next day she basically agreed to go out with him and we had a brief conversation text message conversation as follows: Me: so did what did you finally do about his message ? (i delete the message right after) Her: I saw your message btw and if you care, I’m dating him now. Me: you know, I used to love you before Her: 😂 haha you’re so funny (I don’t answer in the next couple of hours) Her: wait you were serious
The next day the impact of this revelation on my heath is so grave that for the next couple of days I literally starved me self and vomited everything j tried to eat and was physically impaired, I had headaches and felt generally nauseous, I couldn’t stand up too long etc... I just couldn’t take it.
That day right after she kept on texting me asking me to answer and that she needed me as a friend etc... I just asked her to leave me alone. The next week I reluctantly went to school, even after what Remy had done, he did not refrain himself from bullying me. She was trying to approach me and talk, but to no avail. I kept on trying to avoid her. I couldn’t take it living knowing what I knew, despite how bad it was, not being to spend time with her, regardless the situation was the most unbearable thing that had ever happened to me in my life. Finally, the Friday of that week I caved in and started talking to her again. Somehow, ever since she was dating Remy, she still moved closer to me regardless and even started to ignore him despite him being her boyfriend. On the, there was a play that our class was going to attend, and she insisted on going to the play with me. At that play, when I still thought that never again I would have chance with her, I engaged in a heated political debate with one of her friends. During the whole debate the girl frowned upon me. After we generally continued to be friends.
Thjs situation continues until the day of the class picture, when she dumped Remy. But I did not know about it. Yes he was in tears on the class couture, but I had no idea that the girl had just dumped him. The day right after, there was a birthday party that the class was invited to and I was planning on going there by myself, but the girl insisted on going to the party with me. So I accepted. Right before the party, I got a text message from another kid in my class, David, say that that girl and Remy finally broke up and that i could stop ignoring her. I though he was making up crap because he still thought I was ignoring her, but in reality he was right. The party happened as normal, because anyways that girl and Remy didn’t spend a lot of time together even when they were dating, I assumed that all was “normal” and went on normally with the party. The week after was a normal school week, I tried to be nice to her, she got close as usual and as usual I assumed it to uncomfortable considering the situation, that had now changed but that I wasn’t aware of, and the day went by. Tuesday after school, she pulled me behind the school and told me that she never loved him in the first place and that she broke up with him. I was trying to be as nice as possible with her and against my will pretended that I was sorry for them and basically that it was so sad and a bad thing, she was clearly happy she dumped him and was expecting that I’d be happier. This Tuesday was the first of the only 6 days of happiness i’d ever had since Remy and the girl started dating. It was Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Friday was basically some sort of mini date, we hung out together all day we ate together and talked all the time during lunch. I almost had the feeling that maybe she also liked me. I can’t remember all of the discussions we had but I remember that at some point she was talking about my general attitude towards her across the years and in first year being “sweet” in second year being “mean” and in the beginning of the third year being “nice” and then she left out the Katy if the year when she knew I got depressed about. After that day, I thought that enough time had passed, I didn’t want anything else to happen, and that night at 2am I asked her out.
From this point I entered a depression that lasted years and that I still am in in; I am not even going to try to quantify by dismay with words at this point.
She said no and that she couldn’t imagine us together.
From that point she somehow resented me as if she had hated me her whole life.
After, she sat next to Samuel in physics and left me alone. At this point, she was the one ignoring me, and she never stopped.
I asked her if she wanted to sit next to me in physics, she said no.
I asked her if she wanted to have lunch with me, she said no she couldn’t and in reality she was with Samuel during that time.
This continued and dragged on until the end of the year, in June her birthday passed, previously she promised to invite me, but she never did. At the end of the year, middle school was done and I’m never see her anymore.
The next year I stared high shook, because surprisingly popular, made friends, and u still couldn’t forget her. I tried getting a girlfriend and I did and I still couldn’t forget about that girl (I broke up with my gf now, I didn’t actually loved her).
Regardless what I did, whether I wanted it or not, that girl detained my heart, and she always will.
This year, we moved halfway across the globe and I know for sure that i’m never going to see her again, but I still think about her. She’s obvessive. She drives people crazy, she’s almost evil and cursed.
Alicia, si tu list cette histoire, j’aimerais que tu saches to je t’aimerais a tout jamais, n’importe ce qu’il se pass, que tu le veuille ou pas. Mon cœur t’appartiendras pour tout l’éternité.
So yeah, that was the study I’ve had about the single perfect girl in the world. I’d do anything to get her back, even if just for a day and just a friend. I miss her so very much and I know that I’ll never be able to get over her. We’ve been through so much together and this story is just a brief summary of the key moments. I’ve shaped my life around reading to appeal to her ...
I’m sad :(
EDIT: (Short extra story, near the end of the second year she put a profil pic with her and a guy I didn’t know, I was also partly mad because of that, but u simple fly forgot about it during the poop party at the end of that year. I was generally feeling uninterested in her for a small month period after after the field trip in third year because I thought she already had a bf but then once I met her in a bus and i gained full interested in her again, despite me still thinking she had a bf. Then in the day we ate out together for the first time, I made a joke and basically she said they the box in her profile picture was her cousin, which made that and great day even better)
submitted by diccface69 to u/diccface69 [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 23:25 llaverna Weekly Round-Up: September 21st - September 27th

Weekly Round-Up: September 21st - September 27th
/bangtan Weekly Round-Up
Previous thread: September 14th - September 20th
This round-up is for everything that happened in the /bangtan realm within the past week, compiled for your convenience! If you have feedback, please leave a comment or send me a PM.
The latest weekly round-up is linked on the sidebar of the subreddit. The link to the archive of past round-up posts can always be found in the wiki index.

New Releases

Date Link Thread
200925 BTS (방탄소년단) 'Dynamite' Official MV (Choreography ver.) Thread

News & Information

Date Thread
200921 [Notice] ARMY on Air Fan Event for “BTS MAP OF THE SOUL ON:E Live Streaming” Raffle Entry Information
200921 Epic Games: Light it up like Dynamite! BTS arrives in Fortnite Party Royale!
200921 "Dynamite" is #2 on the Billboard Hot 100 for its 4th week
200922 The Tonight Show: 5️⃣NIGHTS 5️⃣ PERFORMANCES. Who’s ready for #BTSWEEK with @BTS_twt?! 📅9.28.20
200922 BTS have been nominated for "Top Duo/Group" at the 2020 Billboard Music Awards for a second consecutive year
200922 BTS have been nominated for "Top Social Artist" at the 2020 Billboard Music Awards
200922 John Cena To Appear On September 29 “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” Also Featuring BTS
200924 [EVENT] ARMY MEMBERSHIP Renewal Event Notice
200924 Update Notice on Legal Proceedings Against Violation of Artist Rights
200924 ARMY Bomb Ver.3 and 'Map of the Soul Special Edition' can now connect to "Lights" music video on Weverse
200925 [Notice] Cancellation of the BTS MAP OF THE SOUL ON:E Offline (In-person) Concert
200925 BTS have taken their 14th win for "Dynamite" on today's KBS Music Bank
200926 BTS have taken their 15th win for 'Dynamite' on today's Music Core

Merchandise info

Date Thread
200922 Weverse: Learn Korean with BTS Book Package - Official Trailer 1
200924 BigHit Edu: [Learn! KOREAN with BTS Book Package] FAQ📢 ✅SPEAKING PEN User Guide

Expired news

Date Thread
200922 UNICEF: BTS is speaking at the UN General Assembly on 200923 to share a message of hope amidst the pandemic
200923 The Dynamite MV choreo version premiere on Fornite will be livestreamed on Amazon Music App

Appearances & Interviews

Date Link Thread
200921 BTS: Tiny Desk (Home) Concert Thread
200923 UNITED NATIONS: BTS, UNICEF and others: Protraction of COVID 19 crisis on the future generation Thread
200924 Grammy Museum: BTS Interview + 'Dynamite' Performance Thread
200926 [Audio] #MostRequestedLive Interview: BTS Thread
200927 BTS @ 2020 Lotte Duty Free Family Concert

Official Media

Type Date Link Thread
Bomb 200921 [BANGTAN BOMB] 'Dynamite' Stage CAM (BTS focus) @ TODAY Citi Music Series Thread
Bomb 200922 [BANGTAN BOMB] 'Dynamite' Stage CAM (BTS focus) @ NPR Tiny Desk Concert Thread
In the SOOP 200921 [In the SOOP BTS ver.] Highlight Clip EP.1-4 Thread
In the SOOP 200922 [Behind] In the SOOP BTS ver. EP.5 Back to the Forest: Behind-the-scenes Thread
In the SOOP 200924 In the SOOP BTS ver. EP.6 Together, and on Their Own Thread
In the SOOP 200924 [In the SOOP BTS ver.] Official Clip - Ep.7 Thread
Live 200922 2008** BTS Youtube Live Thread
Live 200925 2008** V & Jungkook (YouTube Live) Thread
Log 200927 Namjoon Thread
Magazine 200921 "Weverse Magazine" out now! Thread
Performance 200921 BTS (방탄소년단) 'Dynamite' @ TODAY Citi Music Series Thread
Teaser 200924 BigHit Exhibition: Preview 1 for Map Of the Soul On:E Exhibition
Teaser 200925 BTS MAP OF THE SOUL ON:E 시청 가이드 Thread
Video 200921 Fortnite x BTS: Special Announcement Thread
Video 200923 BTS (방탄소년단) Speech at the 75th UN General Assembly Thread
Other 200921 Learn! KOREAN with BTS [EP.29] I Hope You Are Happy Thread
Other 200925 BTS @ Fortnite Party Royale
Other 200926 BigHit Edu: A Hangul Day challenge with ARMY all over the world! Write #BTS’ lyrics of Mikrokosmos in Korean Thread

Official SNS

Date SNS Link Thread
200921 TikTok BTS on TikTok Thread
200921 Twitter Namjoon Thread
200921 Twitter Today's Bangtan @ NPR Music's Tiny Desk Concert Thread
200923 Weverse Compilation
200923 Weverse Namjoon Thread
200923 Twitter Today's Bangtan: UNICEF with BTS Thread
200924 Twitter BTS x Fortnite Thread
200924 TikTok Jungkook Thread
200925 Twitter Today's Bangtan @ GRAMMY Museum - The Drop Thread
200925 Weverse Compilation
200927 Twitter Namjoon Thread
200927 TikTok BTS on TikTok Thread
200927 Twitter j-hope Thread

CF & Partnerships

Date Thread
200921 Hyundai Lifestyle
200922 Lemona Official
200922 BTS x FILA - Launching of PROJECT 7 on 2020.09.24
200922 Samsung Mobile: All that you love, and more. The countdown begins. September 23, 2020. #GalaxyxBTS
200923 Samsung Mobile: Meet #GalaxyS20FE - our all-new favorite, right in the hands of your all-time faves. #GalaxyxBTS
200923 Fila Project 7 x BTS
200923 Galaxy S20 FE: BTS First Impressions
200923 Samsung Mobile x BTS Tweet Compilation (Galaxy Unpacked September 2020)
200924 BTS x Bodyfriend CF Behind Teaser Clips
200924 Seoul city's promotional video featuring BTS tops 100M views, various special programs planned to thank fans for the new record
200925 FILA x BTS - Project 7 Jimin
200926 FILA x BTS - Project 7 Jungkook
200926 Samsung Mobile: Here’s another side of BTS you’ve never seen before. Witness it all with the amazing drawing tools of the #GalaxyTabS7 #GalaxyxBTS
200927 Lotte Duty Free

Articles

Date Publisher Article Thread
200921 Korea Herald W520b per BTS member? Market worth of K-pop stars in limelight as agency IPO nears Thread
200922 Entertainment Weekly BTS taking over The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon for BTS Week Thread
200922 Washingtonian BTS Fans Are Donating to Public Radio Stations after Tiny Desk Concert Thread
200922 Time Halsey - The 100 Most Influential People of 2020, written by BTS Thread
200922 LaineyGossip BTS Is Everywhere, Part 613 Thread
200924 K-media Edaily reports BTS and BH have offered to lower their skyrocketing advertising fee. The group/BH have been offering lower fees since a few months ago. Thread
200925 CNBC Fans of boy band BTS join swarm of South Korean retail investors chasing hit IPO Thread
200925 Forbes BTS’s Achievements And Massive Global Fan Base Speak Much Louder Than Their Racist Critics Thread

SNS Mentions

NOTE: Entries with 💜 have new content directly involving BTS
Date 💜 Link Thread
200920 Docskim, A Member of Ghost Band Who Also Produced BTS Outro:Tear, Lie Posted About BTS NPR Tiny Desk On His Instastory Thread
200921 💜 PSY with V Thread
200921 Fortnite Thread
200922 Bang Sangho: Official Concept Illustrator for Map of the Soul 7: The Journey Thread
200922 Lotte Duty Free Family Concert Thread
200923 UNICEF X BTS: "If our voices can give strength to people, then that’s what we want and that’s what we’ll keep on doing." Thread
200923 Halsey Thread
200923 Sofia Vergara on her Instagram Thread
200923 Fortnite released a Dynamite emote Thread

Other media

Type Date Link Thread
Cover 200921 Kurt Hugo Schneider: Remaking BTS's "Dynamite" without leaving this Walmart Thread
Cover 200921 ONEUS (Seoho, Leedo, Hwanwoong) dance cover for Dynamite Thread
Cover 200921 KO (Pentatonix) covers Dynamite Thread
Cover 200922 Niki of Enhypen's Dynamite dance cover wearing the hanbok Jungkook gifted Thread
Cover 200922 Nev Schulman and Jenna Johnson dance the Cha Cha to “Dynamite” by BTS on Dancing with the Stars 2020 Thread
Reaction 200924 Psychiatrist Analyses Magic Shop by BTS Thread
Video 200920 Blueberry Eyes (feat. SUGA of BTS) [Making Of] Thread
Video 200922 Jimmy Fallon Says BTS's 'Tonight Show' Takeover Will Be 'Unbelievable' Thread
Video 200923 Jimmy Announces BTS Week on The Tonight Show Thread
Video 200924 The Late Late Show with James Corden: In tonight's game of SpillYourGuts, Alicia Keys asks @JKCorden to pick his favorite: Harry Styles or Baby Mochi? 😳😳😳 Thread
Video 200924 MAX: BLUEBERRY EYES BY MAX (FEAT SUGA OF BTS), LIVE FROM THE GREEK THEATRE Thread
Video 200925 Daechwita used on Boss in the Mirror Thread
Video 200925 BTS - Dynamite (방탄소년단) (#WITHOUTMUSIC Parody) Thread
Video 200924 BTS featured in the first question of Free Fall on NBC’s The Wall
Video 200926 The Try Guys Join The BTS Army Thread

Milestones

Type Date Thread
Charts/Sales 200921 BTS's "Dynamite" is officially No. 1 on this week's Global 200 Excl. U.S. Chart
Charts/Sales 200922 BTS's "Dynamite" Becomes the First and Only song by an Idol Group in Korean Chart history to achieve 500 Perfect All-Kills (PAK)
Charts/Sales 200923 BTS is now the first group in Korean chart history to surpass 600 Perfect All-Kills overall on Korean digital charts, the only artist alongside IU
Followers 200922 'BANGTANTV' Channel Has Surpassed 37 MILLION YouTube Subscribers (BTS remains the most subscribed channel by a male group on YouTube)
Likes 200927 "Dynamite" is now the most liked music video for a group in YouTube history (18.43M likes), surpassing "Boy With Luv"!
Streams 200926 BTS's "Dynamite" Has Now Surpassed 200 MILLION Streams on Spotify (6th song to do so)
Streams 200926 BTS Spotify account has gained 4 BILLION streams so far in 2020 (269 days)
Views 200921 BTS just broke the 'Tiny Desk' record for most YouTube views by a video on its first day ... in about 25 minutes
Views 200925 "Dynamite" has now surpassed 400 million views on YouTube

BTS Universe Story

Date Link Thread
200921 BTS Universe Story: Unveiled for the first time! Sneak peek of BTS Universe Story Special Costume. Whose costume do you want to unlock? Thread
200921 BTS Universe Story: A glimpse of a face and a flash of light. TaeHyung's the only witness. Who did he see? Thread
200922 BTS Universe Story: Unveiled for the first time! Sneak peek of BTS Universe Story Special Costume. Whose costume do you want to unlock? (2/2) Thread
200922 BTS Universe Story : D-2 Thread
200923 Pre-download for BTS Universe Story begins now! 9/24 11:00 (KST) / 9/23 7:00 PM (PDT) Thread
200923 BTS Universe Story : D-1 Thread
200923 BTS Universe Story: 7 young men are gathered in one place. They greet each other excitedly but with curious eyes... Thread
200924 has officially launched! Available for download now! Thread

TinyTAN

Date Link Thread
200923 TinyTAN: Give me a tiny fist bump! Thread

BT21

Date Link Thread
200921 Are you all ready for more exciting stories? ⠀ Like their many charms, BT21 has deep, engrossing tales yet untold...! 🤫 ⠀ It will all unfold soon. Thread
200923 “Who’s that lonely kid?” “Looks rather like me...” ⠀ CHIEF's story. Previously untold. ⠀ #Sep25 #ComingSoon Thread
200925 BT21 Original Story Episode 1 - Chimmy & Chief Thread

BT21 merchandise news

Date Thread
200922 BT21 Take a nap. These will help. Red heart #BT21 BABY #HandWarmer Cushion

Misc

Date Thread
200921 [Unconfirmed, see thread] 2020 MAMA will reportedly be held on December 6 at CJ ENM Contents World in Paju and BTS has reportedly been confirmed to attend
200924 [Throwback] Two years ago today, BTS addressed the 73rd United Nations General Assembly for the launch of UNICEF's 'Generation Unlimited'
200925 [Throwback] Four years ago today, BTS released comeback trailer "Boy Meets Evil" for "Wings"
200926 [Throwback] One year ago today, j-hope released "Chicken Noodle Soup" featuring Becky G

Subreddit

Rolling /bangtan Awards 2020 nomination form

Top Discussion Posts

  1. [+110] How has BTS helped you cope with COVID-19?
  2. [+69] Sharing wild visions for Bangtan
  3. [+59] Army Spending Habits
  4. [+55] What are some underrated tracks you love?
  5. [+51] Older ARMY, do you feel like more people are leaving the twitter fandom recently?

Weekly threads

Fanart

Here are past week's top 5 fanart posts from our sister subreddit, /heungtan!
Submitter Thread
imjustsmeagol Did a BTS paintings compilation pt.II during quarantine. Been pretty inspired by their recent content / messages amid these hard times. Stay safe out there folks!
ilumoone Quick Jimin sketch 💙
myheartisohmygod WINGS birthday cake
ilumoone J-hope Sketch ✨
ilumoone Sleepy JK drawing
submitted by llaverna to bangtan [link] [comments]


2020.09.27 07:29 Fillerbear TL;DR on "The New Onision Gossip (^_^)." Thank me later.

Preamble: Stephanie Lazarus was a police detective who, out of jealousy, killed the wife of the man she was obsessed over and covered it up. The murder was only solved as a cold case. This video of her interrogation is so eeriely similar to Greg's patterns that I had to add it here. The video is long but fascinating on its own and I've had it on the mind watching these videos.
Also: Please correct me if I get any details wrong. I sometimes mistake people for others 'cause I am not devoting a space to keeping track of who's who in Ogreasion's life.
TL;DR
THE SHORT VERSION:
Jesus Christ on a bicycle, he's still on about Shiloh, still the alimony with Skye, still obsessed with Skye's sister.
submitted by Fillerbear to Onision [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 13:48 MemeStreetModerator My Prediction for Crocodile

I think crocodile is The Weeknd, based on several clues.
1) The tic tac toe board (and the XOs) could signify his record label XO records 2) the frog/toad would signify a toad frog that has been present in his new album After Hours. In his song “Heartless” he licks a frog, and he also did it in a TikTok virtual concert. 3) he hasn’t really been doing much lately 4) “a certain set of keys” That turned his career around could be referring to Alicia Keys. At the BET awards in 2015, he performed his song “Earned It,” with Alicia Keys, and debuted his song “The Hills,” which would be one of his most popular songs to date, and would turn his career around, making him a star.
We will know if it is him or not when he sings
submitted by MemeStreetModerator to TheMaskedSinger [link] [comments]


2020.09.11 15:28 MrNatam What was the strategy for Alicia Keys' new album?

Okay, so clearly Covid screwed up Keys' plans for her new album. It was supposed to be released on March, and then on May, and then - no word on it for months. But still, everything about the rollout seems off.
To add to the release date confusion, she inexplicably began to release song after song after song (basically, half of the album is already out), not letting any of them a chance to really make an impression.
What more is the fact that stylistically moving from "Time Machine" to "Good Job" to "So Done" and now to "Love Looks Better" makes the album sound like a hodge-podge of material. We are short-changed from both directions: on the one hand we don't get to listen to these songs in album context; on the other hand these are mostly not singles, nor are they getting the single treatment, so they blend and very quickly lack distinction.
And if the album's ready, why draw its release out for so long?
If the strategy is to just keep the Alicia Keys name on people's lips until the album is out... It might be right for a new artist who's trying to make the move from social networks to actual charts, but not for an established one like Alicia Keys.
As a fan, it really bums me to see an artist dilute her own material like that.
submitted by MrNatam to popheads [link] [comments]


2020.09.09 06:50 diccface69 Context for a post

Call this a « crush » shoes if you want, but what I felt for her was gas beyond just love, and all I got was pain.
Random story, don’t care if you don’t want to
So a number of years ago I went from private school to public school (for complex reasons) and I doesn’t a year in public school (again for reasons to complex and not the subject of this story). The lints being the transition was hard but I managed to make my way through a years of public school where I was essentially a new kid. That year was the last year of elementary school, and boom next year yet again I was a new kid cuz I started middle school. Obviously being the restate that I was (still am) I arrived late on the first day and didn’t get to pick me seat like literally every other kid that year and found my self all the way in the front sitting next to a girl (you can imagine the humiliation let me remind you that the kids were 12 to 13 and I was 11 cuz I skipped a grade). In addition I was a to social so I mavericks actually came to hanging out with the kids in my class until late in the last year. Anyways, coming back to that day I was basically embarrassed and literally kept my head turned the other way the whole day and didn’t even take a single look at the girl sitting next to me. The next day I can go school and it was a normal school day (normal for me) and during the day I didn’t really pay attention in class but rather just daydreaming and thinking random funni things, but especially I was thinking all the most random things about the girl that was stirring next to me. In the following week I stated paying more and more attention to the girl next to me and we would engage in some brief conversations. During those weeks I especially started to notice that that girl wasn’t originally how I imagined her at all. Across those days, in my opinion, she gradually because prettier and prettier and more interesting. She was nice and sweet and frankly really cute. (Just writing the previous sentence I literally shed a tear) across the days I grew gradually more interested in her until I remember very clearly the Thursday of the third week of school when we talking during math class I realized that I really loved her. We were sitting next to each other in our home room class which means we were next to each other in every class but one, physics. Over the months I grew obsessed about her. I didn’t talk with any friends from school, and she was only person to whom I talked. I spent all my time after school texting her and waiting for her to respond, which she should, eventually, .. sometime... I stalked her during recesses and school breaks, she was always in the corner of my mind. The point being that it was obsessive love. Then came the third of the year, when the home room teacher would redraw the class plans, after that day I was no longer sitting next to her, I temper that day when the teacher shows us the new class plans I was really sad that I was holding back tears for the rest of the day. I was so in love with her that just not not aging next to her out me in tears, tgat day after school I cried in the shower just like in the weekend (because it was a Friday). During the weekend I wouldn’t talk to anyone, up to that pint in my life, it was the closest thing to depression that I had ever experienced. The following Monday I decided to do something about it (or at least in my mind) it was very subtle but I basically that day cane and sat next to her in physics, the one class that wasn’t in the home room classroom. I feast so happy in that single moment because the girl didn’t seem to have any problems with it if anything, from what I can remember, she even has a genuin smile I’m that moment. Now that same thing continues between us, but we were only sitting next to each other in one subject. Fast forward to near the end of the war when yet again in the home room classroom there is a new class plan drawn. This time she finds herself sting next to another guy, with whom she seems to talk a lot. Initially it didn’t seem like a problem to me and we’d still talk because I was stirring just a row in front of her. For the sake I’ll call that guy Samuel. There was a school project we had to do in groups of three and the girl and her best friend jumped together to form a groups of two and then me and Samuel were left. The girl jumped to ouch me almost without any hesitation. I was so happy because in that moment Samuel was no longer problem for me in my mind. Then the end of the year came, all of the events during that year happened simultaneously me being semi bullied by another guy (in retrospect you’ll see the importance) that for the sake I’ll call Remy. Then the summer holidays come, I go to visit some family in an exotic place, with still exchanging texts with this girl. I remember that i was extremely happy for some reason because she used a heart emoji fir the first time (not for me but to show appreciation for a picture of a the beach I was near that I sent her), but I was just happy I got a message from her with “😍” in it. I also know that despite being on a holiday to visit family I ignored them most of the time in favor of texting this girl. Not it’s next year. We comeback to school, this time the teacher chooses the class plan form the beginning of the year but me and the girl still choose to sit next to each other in physics. Multiple times during the first couple of weeks the physics teacher send me to the corner because I’m talking to the girl too much. Nothing peculiar about the beginning of this year, then come the October holidays, when I send her a text message and it takes her 3 days before she answers. I get really really sad (I’m not even going to attempt to describe it) and that sadness transformed into anger. And u just started ignoring all of her text messages for like 3 months and even an school starts ignoring her in class. Yes I’m an asshole. And then in addition, near the end of the year during a school camp I see her talking abundantly to this kid Samuel again. That strikes a nerve for me, and just like when we switched seats for the first time in first year, another wave of depression came. I was depressed and mad simultaneously and that affected both my results at school and mental health and life at home. Then came that one single day at the end of the second year that was the most hopeful thing ever, some kids in my class planned to go to the pool and me and that girl happened to both be there. Note that this is the first time that I have hung out with kids in my class after school, I’m addition on a Saturday. During that day at the pool, the girl was consistently moving away from Samuel to come play with me, even when we were going back home, she insisted to abandon Samuel and let him go his own way and made a stupid but pleasant excuse for me to take the longer way to go to my house but spend the most amount of time with her. That day was the day during which I asked myself the most amount of questions about why what happened had happened and the day during which I stopped ignoring her and started texting her again. From that day I left the bubble of depression. And has a generally normal summer compared to the previous one, I texted her a lot. The only thing was that Remy didn’t want me to come to the pool party, the one that marked hope in that point if my life. Then certain things happen at home, during that summer I’m mostly close to my family and my dad gets a promotion, was a big yay for the family and we bought a bigger car and I could finally afford a red iPhone. In addition, near the end of that school year my mom gave birth to my baby sister.
Now comes the third year of high school. The best of my life is far behind me at this point. This was the year in my life when god turned against me. From this point on, there’s no more innocent childish me.
In addition, I had started to put into question beliefs that my mother raised me in, started to get interested in how people think societies, etc .. I was slowly become more and more political. Too political.
The year resumed, this time near the beginning of the year I didn’t have as much interactions in class with that girl, we were still texting each other from time to time though. The third week of school, our class went on a field trip to the south of France. During that feels trip Remy started to act even more sower towards me and I found the girl talking more often to Samuel. I went though another phase of depression for a couple of months until one day we can’t finish our homework in advance in physics, she proposed that one day we go eat lunch together and after work. In my mind that idea was screaming date. So we had lunch that day and worked after and that was the single best day of my life. I know very well that never again will I ever experience such innocent joy. Every single minute of that day of gold and I’m give my whole life just to be able to relive seconds of it. Still remember that I took a rivella and a tuna sandwich and she took a plain water chicken and guacamole rap and caraque. She was so beautiful that day. If I had the chance, I would have married her and killed my self for I would that no point in my life ever again would even compatibly reach the amount of joy that I would have endured in that moment. We constituted to talk via text message for the next couple days. Until next week she sent me a message at 6am and asked me to tell the teacher that she would be sick. Her trusting me, her practically going on dates with me, I was at that moment ready to tell her that i loves her, but I kept myself from doing so. Instead, I told her that she would miss work from being sick, and I proposed to go eat our again and work just like the previous week. The trend of going and eating out together under the pretext of work continued for several weeks but they were never like the first time. I kept on screwing then up by making stupid remarks because I felt overconfident and wanted to ce funny in front of her. Or dumb remarks I would make in front a « friend » (a choosing beggar) in physics to whom I’m swear or that I’d gossip about. Nonetheless, she still sat next to me, we still ate together we still talked and remained friends, even though i hoped for more. Then came Christmas of that year, at school we all watched movies in class all day long, and she stared talking to Remy for the first time that day. I was sad, but I still didn’t see him as a threat to me, well to me hoped relationship with that girl, he still semi bullied me. I just played with the flow, I acted as if nothing happened and we still talked at usual. For new year she sent me a happy new year selfie, with my face I couldn’t do the same back. Now we come back in January and people are taking about a party the school’s going to organize. I find a way to mess up and Remy scores points with that girl again, I feel terrible and depression. We aren’t eating out together on a regular basis anymore. Then comes February. Everybody’s taking about a new protest where most kids are going to be walking out of the school for. In art class the teacher basically sets a workshop and kids that wanted to go to the protest could make their banners, I wasn’t going to protest because I grew so political at the point that even if I could not go to school for one day if it meant representing a political position I didn’t like, I wouldn’t do it. So essentially I stayed on my phone the whole art class and stayed on my phone unaware of anything. The girl gets a suspicious letter and she asks me for advice, because at this point I’m pretty close to her. She was seriously considering throwing it in the garbage, but out of curiosity, I persuaded her not to throw the letter in the garbage but to keep and open it and see what’s in it.
(This is the point of my life where I should have just killed my self just not to have to live the rest. After this point, the amount of days I’ve been happy can literally be counted on my hands: 6 days. Every single other day from this points has been lived in immeasurable amount of pain well tucked u def the thickest and sorrowest blanket of depression.)
It was a love letter from Remy. The next day she basically agreed to go out with him and we had a brief conversation text message conversation as follows: Me: so did what did you finally do about his message ? (i delete the message right after) Her: I saw your message btw and if you care, I’m dating him now. Me: you know, I used to love you before Her: 😂 haha you’re so funny (I don’t answer in the next couple of hours) Her: wait you were serious
The next day the impact of this revelation on my heath is so grave that for the next couple of days I literally starved me self and vomited everything j tried to eat and was physically impaired, I had headaches and felt generally nauseous, I couldn’t stand up too long etc... I just couldn’t take it.
That day right after she kept on texting me asking me to answer and that she needed me as a friend etc... I just asked her to leave me alone. The next week I reluctantly went to school, even after what Remy had done, he did not refrain himself from bullying me. She was trying to approach me and talk, but to no avail. I kept on trying to avoid her. I couldn’t take it living knowing what I knew, despite how bad it was, not being to spend time with her, regardless the situation was the most unbearable thing that had ever happened to me in my life. Finally, the Friday of that week I caved in and started talking to her again. Somehow, ever since she was dating Remy, she still moved closer to me regardless and even started to ignore him despite him being her boyfriend. On the, there was a play that our class was going to attend, and she insisted on going to the play with me. At that play, when I still thought that never again I would have chance with her, I engaged in a heated political debate with one of her friends. During the whole debate the girl frowned upon me. After we generally continued to be friends.
Thjs situation continues until the day of the class picture, when she dumped Remy. But I did not know about it. Yes he was in tears on the class couture, but I had no idea that the girl had just dumped him. The day right after, there was a birthday party that the class was invited to and I was planning on going there by myself, but the girl insisted on going to the party with me. So I accepted. Right before the party, I got a text message from another kid in my class, David, say that that girl and Remy finally broke up and that i could stop ignoring her. I though he was making up crap because he still thought I was ignoring her, but in reality he was right. The party happened as normal, because anyways that girl and Remy didn’t spend a lot of time together even when they were dating, I assumed that all was “normal” and went on normally with the party. The week after was a normal school week, I tried to be nice to her, she got close as usual and as usual I assumed it to uncomfortable considering the situation, that had now changed but that I wasn’t aware of, and the day went by. Tuesday after school, she pulled me behind the school and told me that she never loved him in the first place and that she broke up with him. I was trying to be as nice as possible with her and against my will pretended that I was sorry for them and basically that it was so sad and a bad thing, she was clearly happy she dumped him and was expecting that I’d be happier. This Tuesday was the first of the only 6 days of happiness i’d ever had since Remy and the girl started dating. It was Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Friday was basically some sort of mini date, we hung out together all day we ate together and talked all the time during lunch. I almost had the feeling that maybe she also liked me. I can’t remember all of the discussions we had but I remember that at some point she was talking about my general attitude towards her across the years and in first year being “sweet” in second year being “mean” and in the beginning of the third year being “nice” and then she left out the Katy if the year when she knew I got depressed about. After that day, I thought that enough time had passed, I didn’t want anything else to happen, and that night at 2am I asked her out.
From this point I entered a depression that lasted years and that I still am in in; I am not even going to try to quantify by dismay with words at this point.
She said no and that she couldn’t imagine us together.
From that point she somehow resented me as if she had hated me her whole life.
After, she sat next to Samuel in physics and left me alone. At this point, she was the one ignoring me, and she never stopped.
I asked her if she wanted to sit next to me in physics, she said no.
I asked her if she wanted to have lunch with me, she said no she couldn’t and in reality she was with Samuel during that time.
This continued and dragged on until the end of the year, in June her birthday passed, previously she promised to invite me, but she never did. At the end of the year, middle school was done and I’m never see her anymore.
The next year I stared high shook, because surprisingly popular, made friends, and u still couldn’t forget her. I tried getting a girlfriend and I did and I still couldn’t forget about that girl (I broke up with my gf now, I didn’t actually loved her).
Regardless what I did, whether I wanted it or not, that girl detained my heart, and she always will.
This year, we moved halfway across the globe and I know for sure that i’m never going to see her again, but I still think about her. She’s obvessive. She drives people crazy, she’s almost evil and cursed.
Alicia, si tu list cette histoire, j’aimerais que tu saches to je t’aimerais a tout jamais, n’importe ce qu’il se pass, que tu le veuille ou pas. Mon cœur t’appartiendras pour tout l’éternité.
So yeah, that was the study I’ve had about the single perfect girl in the world. I’d do anything to get her back, even if just for a day and just a friend. I miss her so very much and I know that I’ll never be able to get over her. We’ve been through so much together and this story is just a brief summary of the key moments. I’ve shaped my life around reading to appeal to her ...
I’m sad :(
EDIT: (Short extra story, near the end of the second year she put a profil pic with her and a guy I didn’t know, I was also partly mad because of that, but u simple fly forgot about it during the poop party at the end of that year. I was generally feeling uninterested in her for a small month period after after the field trip in third year because I thought she already had a bf but then once I met her in a bus and i gained full interested in her again, despite me still thinking she had a bf. Then in the day we ate out together for the first time, I made a joke and basically she said they the box in her profile picture was her cousin, which made that and great day even better)
submitted by diccface69 to u/diccface69 [link] [comments]


2020.08.30 21:55 JustDKFilms My Thoughts/Rant on Album Delay

I don't understand why it took them so long to announce the tour update. It's not like the announcement is the new tour dates but just saying that they're still trying to figure out the new dates. The hopeful side in me says that this is probably an indicator that the album announcement is near but I'm losing faith at this point. Ryan has just turned this band into a pop band seeking for hits or is worried about the album flunking. Literally every other artist has released an album (Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, The Killers, John Legend, Dixie Chicks, Lady Gaga, and the list goes on). But OneRepublic still keeps holding back. The Human is one of the few albums that still have a December 31st placeholder (only others I can find are Alicia Keys, KALEO, & Weezer). I think the more they keep delaying this album, the more it's gonna flunk. Ryan has always said that he can't compete with the news cycle but that's not stopping any other artist from releasing their album, the thing that they've been passionately working for a long period of time (differs from each artist). Once we get a COVID vaccine, Ryan won't just have to compete with the news cycle but also the music industry. However, more realistically speaking, flu season is coming up and now it's gonna be twice as hard to deal with COVID-19 AND the flu AND the common cold all at once. Right now is the perfect time to release this album because of all of those reasons and also the themes that are addressed in the album. No one knows for sure when a vaccine will come out but what is known for certain is this dang album. I'm pretty sure it's been done for months now and it's just sitting on a shelf waiting to be brought to the light. Their last single with Kygo ("Lose Somebody") could have EASILY been on the Human album and look at how well it's doing. When they made Native, they took their time to make it the best it can be. When they made Oh My My, they had so much experimenting, I don't think they cared THAT much about how well the album did but to try something different. In an interview for Didn't I, I believe Ryan said that this album (Human) is their most honest album yet. I don't see any other reason for this behavior for continuously delaying the album other than greed. OneRepublic used to be so much better than this.
Apologies for the long rant but I felt like I had to get it out there.
submitted by JustDKFilms to onerepublic [link] [comments]


2020.08.26 16:09 jensyao A sparse timeline of Nas' and Jay's beef and what transpired

PRE Jay-z takeover No Nas and Jay releases on the same day
1993
1994
1995
1996
1997
1998
*Sept 1, 1998 - Nas on Fat Joe's "John Blaze" said "Like that nigga said in Dead Presidents, "Money to burn"".. https://genius.com/168510 Nas was mentioning the movie line but it's a slight/scorn to Jay because Jay named his single after the movie, which was originally named after the Nas line from "The World is Yours" * Sept 29, 1998 - Jay releases Hard knock life ("hard knock life" - still being disrespectful to the throne - "etched your name out, put jigga on top"..."money cash hoes" - "New York's been soft since Snoop crushed the buildings" also provoked Prodigy because Jay did not stick his neck out to do anything for the East/West beef, and Jay had $hort dog, a west coast artist on his album, so he was super hypocritical for his stance) Jay asks who's the best MC biggie jay-z or nas? on "where i'm from" by inserting himself into the conversation * 1998 - DMX dropped 2 albums in one year as the new rap artist, putting the pressure on Jay and Nas to release the next great commercially successful double disk because DMX at the time could have easily took the reign * Nov 24, 1998 - 2Pac releases greatest hits, 3rd double disk with the official release of "hit em up"
1999
2000
POST Jay-Z takeover
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
etc
2018
2019
2020
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nas_discography
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jay-Z_albums_discography
If you go through Nas' and Jay's discographies, Jay didn't start pitting himself against Nas until after Jay's summer jam Takeover verse in 2001...6 times
prior to that, there were so many near-misses where their albums would be released within a month of each other, because jay likes to submit last minute songs and verses as responses to what Nas said if Nas released the month prior; otherwise, Jay had to wait a whole year to respond like he did on blueprint 2 after Ether and it was too late or make a single and put it on memphis bleek's album (or like when Jay dissed lil wayne on TI's album on "watch what you say to me"). 2Pac is the king of releasing double discs with 5, which convinced Biggie, Jay, and Nas (as well as others) to release double disks to get that monkey off their back besides going platinum.
Jay went from dissing Nas vaguely to directly to subliminally on full verses to subliminally on lines to subliminally on choruses to subliminally on track titles to subliminally with tactics like rushing Nas on tracks to now pitting his releases against nas...there's a slew of tracks that I probably left out in the back and forth
Ether has an original version described by large professor produced by swizz and another one transcribed on the internet...Nas was working on Ether in the wee hours and steve stout had to step in and fix everything before it was submitted, on Jay-Z's birthday..what a chess move...the original version said jay and dame dash should have been in a plane crash instead of aaliyah and talked about Jay's confrontation with Big Pun because Jay was supposed to perform but took the money as an "appearance fee"
https://genius.com/Nas-ether-unreleased-edition-lyrics
https://genius.com/a/large-professor-says-nas-ether-originally-had-a-reference-to-aaliyah-s-fatal-plane-crash
Nas is a man of science and he plays his foes like chess. he plays aloof in interviews but when asked by The Breakfast Club why Jay seems to align his releases with Nas, Nas gave the politically correct answer that he and Jay move on the same time spectrum and that the question should be redirected towards Jay because he doesn't know why Jay still holds a grudge against Nas and wont let go...maybe it's still because their personalities clash because Jay did everything to get to his position motivated by money and Nas held his ground and would rather have things done his way and involve the audience in critical thinking instead of trying to market them stuff as if they are mindless zombies willing to consume on your every endorsement deal.
Nas and Jay's beef is still brewing on Jay's side while Nas has moved on to other things...jay will forever hold a grudge against Nas for defeating him on Ether by stooping to the level of understanding for Jay's audience to them to also realize that Nas won. Jay can't hold another L to another Ether so he does passive aggressive actions that Nas barely realizes is happening or chooses to shrug it off but jay will be forever trying to feed that insatiable ego of his by pitting himself against Nas in every which way. Nas sees that people like Jay are kings but still hold that begrudging victim's mentality so that is partially why Nas made King's Disease, to cure people of their symptoms and get to the crux of the problem to solve it from within
submitted by jensyao to nas [link] [comments]


2020.08.12 08:16 VashxShanks A Guide to the Differences Between JRPGs Ports and Enhanced Versions (Part 1).

A new day, a new guide.
This is the hardest one of the guides I wanted to make, because the information is never easy to get, which is weird. So please forgive me if I missed some changes, and by all means tell me if I missed any of them or if any of them are incorrect.
Since this list is really long, this guide is going to come in parts, this part covers:

Important Notes:

  • This is made for Ports and Enhanced versions, so No Remakes. So this is about differences between the different versions of Chrono Trigger, and not about the differences between FF7 ps1 and FF7 Remake.
  • The differences are taken from all over the internet, either from official sources, wikis, youtube, and even forums.
  • I cover all the changes for a game, unless there is too many, in which case I will highlight the ones worth mentioning.

~ Valkyrie profile (PSX US.ver): vs Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth PSP vs iOS & Andriod. ~

Valkyrie profile PSX:

Nearly identical to the Japan version but with minor fixes in the menu screen. In the Japanese version, Characters not in the party were unable to change or learn skills nor were they able change or remove equipment. The US version allowed out of party members to change and learn skills as well as change or remove equipment without being added to the party. Also in the Japanese version, Lenneth would unequip all her skills and equipment when switching between sword and bow. The US version 'remembers' the previous setting when switching weaponry and is automatically equipped with the skills and equip. Another improvement over the Japanese version is an improved item sorting option.
There are a few instances of censoring such as Badrach's smoking.

Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth PSP:

Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth lacks the improvement made in US version. Rather than re-rendering the textures of the dungeon maps, TOSE cropped and upscaled the pre-rendered images to fit the portable console's screen, resulting in severe blurring in some areas. This version also removes the anime opening movie in favor of 3D CGI, animated movie. Certain key story-sequences were animated in the same style as the opening movie and can be viewed at anytime in the Gallery option in the title screen once unlocked in the story. The animated scenes include:
  • Opening Movie
  • Lenneth's Awakening
  • Jelanda's Transformation
  • Alicia witnesses Barbarossa's execution
  • Lenneth's encounter with the Lord of the Undead
  • Lenneth and the Homunculi
  • A chance encounter between "Meril" and Lucian
  • Lenneth in Weeping Lily Meadow
  • Lucian's departure to Valhalla
  • Hrist's Awakening
  • The Sovereign's Rite
  • A Ending
Other big changes are:
  • An enhanced version of the original game's localization
  • Square Enix cleaned up the original game's English script and additional voice over dialogue for the CG movies was recorded by New Generation Pictures, rather than the original company, TAJ Productions.

Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth iOS & Andriod:

This is the PSP version being ported to iOS & Andriod, with the following changes:
  • Enhanced graphics such as character portraits. >* Enhanced Text.
  • Enhanced UI.
  • The option to skip cut-scenes.
  • In-app purchases to unlock collectibles
  • Ability to turn on auto-battle.

~ Chrono Trigger (SNES): PSX vs NDS vs iOS & Andriod vs PC. ~

Chrono Trigger PSX:

Anime cut scenes created by original character designer Akira Toriyama's Bird Studio and animated by Toei Animation.
A new Extra Mode Option was added that is divided into different categories of viewable extras, that are unlocked as you finish the game, and just as shown in the picture, they are:
  • Theater.
  • Art Gallery.
  • Music Box.
  • Tech Showcase.
  • Monster Data.
  • Boss Data.
  • Endings.
  • Treasure Map.

Chrono Trigger NDS:

This version includes everything new in the PSX version, and also has big and a long list of changes and additions, which I will try to condense them as much as possible:
  • Ability to play using the two screens and the touch screen, or in classic mode through a single screen.
  • Added the Arena of Ages: A monster arena where You pick basic monsters and raise them to fight computer and wireless opponents.
  • Added the Lost Sanctum: A sidequest during the main game. It consists of two dungeons in two different eras.
  • Added the Dimensional Vortex: A extra Dungeon, available after beating the game once and appears in three different eras. Each dungeon is different.
  • A lot of New Items.
  • New Enemies in the new dungeons, in the form of palette swaps of old enemies.
  • One New Ending after finishing the Dimensional Vortex completely.
  • New Translation that changes a lot of names form the original version to something more faithful to the Japanese version.

Chrono Trigger iOS & Android:

Both versions initially were based on the NDS version, but later on got an update to make them similar to the PC version.

Chrono Trigger PC:

Everything on the NDS version is present here except there is No Arena of Ages. What they did add however is:
  • Auto-Save feature.
  • Higher Resolution Graphics and update UI.
  • Support for mouse and keyboard controls.
  • Remastered sound and music.

~ Star Ocean: The Second Story (PSX): vs Star Ocean: Second Evolution (PSP) vs PS4 (JP.ver). ~

Star Ocean: Second Evolution:

  • A New Translation that changes almost everything in the game.
  • New voice actors. >* New voiced acted scenes; All major story events now have voice acting.
  • New recruitable character: Welch Vineyard.
  • New Private Actions and 13 new Endings.
  • Unlocking the Galaxy and Universe modes now require defeating a specific number of enemies in a single playthrough rather than unlocking voices in the Voice Collection. >>>* Practically all Combat Skills have been refined, some being removed (such as Cancel, which is now automatically implemented).
  • The combat system has been slightly refined, now allowing all melee fighters to perform a 3-hit combo as their normal attack.
  • The Super Specialty "Bunny Call" no longer allows the player to "climb" on towns and some terrains. The player now will enter a town upon approaching while in Bunny Form, and can even activate private actions.
  • All items in the inventory screen are now depicted as 2D icons instead of the original 3D models.
  • Many bugs and glitches have been fixed (most notably the infamous random Cave of Trials screen freeze).
  • Ring of Lightspeed (called Slayer Ring in Second Story) now works on Dias Flac.
  • New character designs and portraits.
  • No magic combo mechanic.
  • Crafting animations are now replaced by a still 2D image.

Star Ocean: Second Evolution PS4 JP.ver:

This enhanced version was released only in Japan on the PS4, with enhanced graphics and BGM, and a DLC that helps you with the gameplay.

~ The Last Remnant (Xbox360): vs PC vs PS4 & Switch Remastered. ~

The Last Remnant PC:

This version is only available to purchase in the EU SquareEnix online store as of right now:
Battles:
  • Turbo Mode is now available, and can be toggled on or off while giving orders to unions in battle. When on, battles play out at double the speed.
  • Crimson Flare, a new Arcana, is now available.
  • New formations, such as Eremurus Rain, are now available.
  • Enemies hit considerably harder.
  • Rare Monsters can have significantly higher HP than their XBOX 360 counterparts.
  • Arcana require substantially more AP.
  • Unique Arts now require AP.
  • Remnant Arts can only be performed by union leader, Weapon Arts now require high union morale.
  • Offensive Weapon Arts now increase morale when used.
  • Additionally, Arcana and offensive Special Arts now raise morale by a fixed amount.
  • Likewise, certain Enemy Arts now lower morale by a fixed amount.
  • Wards now affect the entire union.
  • Attributes required for formation upgrades are vastly different.
  • Healing no longer raises morale, and morale increased by Critical Hits has been dramatically reduced.
  • Union morale now fluctuates based on more conditions (IE: taking an action, successfully landing a hit, receiving damage, etc.). In the X360 version, union morale stayed somewhat static, usually changing when being healed, being KO'd/terminated, executing a successful Critical Trigger. It also did not drop to 0 whenever an offensive Special Art was executed, whereas it will do so on the PC.
  • Linking additional enemies together does not increase your Battle Rank further than having fought them separately.
  • Special commands, such as the use of David's Gae Bolg, are no longer interrupted by being raidlocked by a different union or having targeted enemy union defeated by an ally.
  • Allies now have the option to cure a friendly union's Curse status ailment via "Cure them even if it kills them!" command. This command is in the XBOX 360 version as well, but is only available when the union is Enthralled; it will not be available when the union is cursed.
Items:
  • Items are color-coded in the PC version, and a new preview feature lets you see what the item looks like in battle.
  • You can now toggle between viewing the stats of a weapon or shield and viewing a preview of what it looks like in battle.
  • Components and consumables are now categorized.
  • Items are now color-coded based on their rarity.
  • Creation or customization of some items require fewer components.
  • New items available via Blueprint 4.
  • Various weapon stats have changed.
  • Some very rare monster-specific drops can now be split from monsters (e.g., Godwood Timber, Spiritwood Timber).
Units:
  • The leader limit is no longer imposed. Unions can be composed entirely of leader units if the player desires.
  • Likewise, soldiers can now be set as union leaders.
  • The stat cap has been lifted for all characters to allow a maximum of 255 for each stat.
  • The Seven are now recruitable after completing Union of the Golden Chalice Task #70: For Our Lord.
  • Rush can now be removed from the active party.
  • Khrynia can learn the new Unique Art Dual Snowpetal.
  • Arts can be disabled, filtering which skills a unit may use in combat.
  • Leaders' requested components are displayed when viewing their stats.
  • Leaders' wield style can be changed depending on their equipped weapon.
  • Shields now prevent style changes mid-battle.
  • The following classes now prevent style changes: Guardian, Scout, Hunter, Wanderer, Thief, Alchemist, all Mystic classes, Vagrant, Mercenary, Aristocrat, Djin, Fortuneteller, Sage and General.
  • The experience required to advance Wield Style skills has been reduced, and the experience required to advance Weapon Type skills has been increased.
  • Three new classes are now available: Ataraxian, Cleric, and Ninja.
  • The Guardian, Fencer, and Warrior classes now require non-sovani wield styles, and are thus not available to Sovani.
  • The Gladiator class now requires Power Grip and Wards.
  • Hybrid classes (Item+Combat and Mystic+Combat) can now be achieved by units who do not start in one.
  • Some leaders now have a different weapon upgrade path, which caused some units to learn new Weapon Arts while others lost theirs.
  • Leaders can request weapons that do not coincide with their weapon upgrade path as long as they match their equipped weapon type and size.
  • Soldiers can now request weapon drops.
  • Some units have had their starting Unit BR level, stats, class, equipment, arts, and hiring wage changed.
Sidequests:
  • The completion of At Hatred's End is no longer required in order to activate Things Unchangeable.
  • Duke of Ghor now has a … icon when you speak with him between the first, third, and fifth base battles.
  • The component requirements in The Assistant have lowered.
  • The DLC content is now unlocked differently; the majority of the extra content now requires the completion of certain guild tasks.
  • The Leader Extraordinaire guild tasks which required three units of a single class now only require one.
  • The Monsterslayer guild tasks require different enemies to be defeated.
New Game Plus and Hard Mode: After the epilogue and credits, you can now save your game. When you're taken back to the main menu, you can load this save to begin a new playthrough that carries over certain elements from your previous playthrough. You will also be given the option to start the new game in Hard Mode.
Miscellaneous:
  • The PC version will warn you if you cannot leave an area without a fight.
  • Auto Save is now available, which automatically saves after having changed zones or having won a battle.
  • Battle Rank is now viewable outside of combat, in the party menu.
  • Battle Rank progression has been slowed considerably; it takes more encounters/enemy unions terminated to increase in rank.
  • Characters with … icons are now identified with markers on the map.
  • Enemies can no longer be respawned by saving and reloading an adjacent area.
  • New saving opportunities are now available, such as before the base's boss.
  • A warning message is now displayed if you attempt to save your game in an area which you cannot leave until you defeat a boss.
  • Mr Diggs's digging animations are now much quicker.
  • The loading screens that explained some of the game's mechanics have been disabled.
  • Many areas of the game have had their spawn tables altered or repopulated.
  • Starting battle music now coincides with starting morale in most battles.
  • "Turn the Tide" and "Beat the Odds" now play during the second half instead of after entering Elysion.
  • Union highlighting during the selection phase has been toned down (ie: ally unions don't look quite as blue).
  • Leaders in reserve no longer gain skills via the Rush only skill grind trick.
  • Soldiers now slowly improve their stats in reserves.
  • Camera in battle doesn't swing around as wildly anymore.
  • Mitra soldiers' idle stances now come in 2 varieties: the one shared by both male and female units and the one exclusive to larger male units, rather than just the "large male mitra" stance.

The Last Remnant Remastered PS4 & Switch:

Based on the PC version, also added:
  • Graphics now are in Unreal Engine 4
  • A new function to run faster on the overworld.
  • Extra save slots.
Yes I am salty about this if you can't tell, since they removed the PC version from steam.

~ Tales of Vesperia (Xbox360): vs PS3 vs Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition vs PS4/PC/Switch/Xbox One. ~

Tales of Vesperia PS3:

  • Features full voice acting, nearly twice as much voice work as the original.
  • New Characters, including 2 new playable characters: Flynn (permanantly playable now), and Patty Fleur.
  • New subplots, skits, and main game quests, and sidequests.
  • New mini-games
  • New songs
  • Remodeled towns and new towns and dungeons.
  • New bosses.
  • The ability to replay boss fights.
  • New 8 Mystic Arts.
  • New artes, skills, and equipment.
  • New item: the "Artes Ball", which allows an additional eight artes shortcuts to be assigned to the previous eight slots combined with the L1 button, which allows for a maximum of 16 artes
  • New character costumes

Tales of Vesperia: Definitive editionvs PS4/PC/Switch/Xbox One:

Based on the PS3 version, it has everything from it and all the DLC included for free, with higher resolution graphics depending on the system.

~ Tales of Symphonia (GC): vs PS2 (JP.ver only) vs PS3/PC. ~

Tales of Symphonia PS2 JP.ver only:

  • New animated sequences.
  • New Mystic Arts.
  • New Unison Arts.
  • New Arts for playable characters and enemies.
  • New Techniques.
  • The frame rate was lowered from 60 frames per second to 30 frames per second.
  • New customs.
  • The "Synopsis" option in the menu displays newer entries at the top
  • The Casino in the game is now actually fully playable with it's own mini-games, and chips to collecet and exchange for items.
  • The skits are graphically more dynamic. Portraits get larger or smaller quickly, swing from side to side, shake, and so on.
  • New Titles
  • More post-battle animations.
  • Niflheim dungeon extended and 6 new boss characters, fought in 2 new boss battles.
  • Bug Fixes
  • New events to help raise affection.
  • Includes new side quests, new camera angles on some cutscenes, new animated cutscenes not featured in the GameCube version

Tales of Symphonia PS3/PC:

  • More customs.
  • Improved character textures and improved some environments.
  • Dual-audio support: Japanese and English voiceovers, which neither the PS2 or GameCube versions had
  • Cutscenes support voice acting in both languages, but skits only have voice acting in Japanese. If you select English, you will just see the subtitles during skits. This is not a porting issue, as this is just how the GameCube version was.
  • While the original GameCube version ran at 60fps, the Japanese PS2 port which the PS3 Chronicles HD version is based off of ran at 30fps. The Steam version can run at 40FPS.
  • HD graphics

~ Skies of Arcadia (DC): vs Skies of Arcadia: Legends GC. ~

Skies of Arcadia: Legends GC:

  • New Ranks for the Swashbuckler Rating system.
  • Random encounters occur less frequently and load considerably faster than the Dreamcast version, and EXP offered per battle is adjusted to compensate.
  • Graphically, the game sports mild improvements to character models, most noticeably adding individual fingers to the designs. The modifier volume shadows and (weirdly enough) point-mipmapping from the original release are still present.
  • One of the new sidequests available is Bounty Hunting. Sailor's Guilds offer information about each person on the bounty list as they are unlocked through story progression. After reading about them, they can be found in a constant location.
  • There are a number of new discoveries to be found.
  • Two linked sidequests
  • "Pinta Quest" minigame was removed
  • DLC comes with the game.

~ Persona 3 (PS2): vs Persona 3 FES PS2 (English.ver) vs P3P PSP. ~

FES PS2 (English.ver):

  • A whole additional epilogue has been added, The Answer. This chapter is only available in one difficulty setting, which is supposed to be on par with Persona 3's Hard mode.
  • New Personas have been added
  • Secret videos of the protagonist's dorm mates have been added to flesh them out.
  • Koromaru can now be taken on walks.
  • Several of the Social Links have been modified slightly, such as Tanaka being available at a different time
  • Several new Quests have been added.
  • New costumes can be worn in battle.
  • A new event involving Chidori Yoshino was added.
  • Naganaki Shrine was completely overhauled.
  • A hard mode was added.
  • Save data from Persona 3 can be transferred into the game,

P3P PSP:

  • The Answer is not included in this verion.
  • Added a Female Main Character, so now you can choose between the Male and Female MCs.
  • The game lacks 3D environments and character models (outside of Tartarus), all anime cutscenes are gone, the graphics and audio quality were compressed,
  • The storyline of the female protagonist features many differences from that of the male protagonist, such as new social interactions as well as Social Links.
  • New voiced dialogue.
  • Players have the choice of selecting Elizabeth or a male-equivalent named Theodore to be Igor's assistant in the Velvet Room.
  • The ability to pick who the protagonist spends the last moments of the game with. This feature is only accessible on a New Cycle
  • The Desert of Doors from the Abyss of Time seen in The Answer will still appear, however, in an extra feature known as the Vision Quest. In this mode, the party can fight stronger incarnations of the Full Moon shadow bosses — save for Arcana Magician — and partake in special battles that test the party's abilities. When all of the battles have been successfully met, a second optional boss can be fought: Margaret, Igor's assistant in Persona 4 and guardian of the Desert of Doors in P3P.
  • There are now two overworld save points; Aside from the log book in the Iwatodai Dormitory, there is also one on the main character's desk at school.
  • In Paulownia Mall, the police station is now the only place where the protagonist can buy equipment and sell items. Aohige Pharmacy is now a buy-only store, and Be Blue V is just a part-time work site and hangout to improve the main character's condition
  • From previous versions, two difficulty modes have been added: Beginner and Maniac alongside Easy and Normal in Persona 3 and Hard in Persona 3 FES:
  • A new tactic, "Direct," has been added to the game, allowing control of the party members, unlike Persona 3 and Persona 3 FES.
  • The "Wait" command is replaced with the "Defense" command, and will decrease the damage and any knockdown effects of the next attack the user suffers.
  • The game grants "1 More" to a combatant who attacks multiple enemies not knocking all of them down; the original Persona 3 required all hit enemies to be knocked down for a 1 more.
  • Party members who have been knocked down no longer spend the turn by getting up and can act as soon as they stand.
  • Upon landing a critical hit or striking an enemy's weakness, party members can follow up with a co-op attack.
  • Fusion Spells from the original Persona 3 are now activated from items instead of equipping a persona and selecting it like other spells.
  • Allies can now take a fatal blow to the protagonist for them if they are able.
  • "Dizzy" has been added as a status effect.
  • Returning to the main lobby in Tartarus no longer automatically restores the party, and must now be done for a fee via the save point (this cost varies based on the date in-game and status effects currently inflicted on the party)
  • Floors can be directly returned to from the entrance of Tartarus instead of being restricted to the restore point like previous versions.
  • "Tired" status no longer is inflicted during Tartarus exploration, and is inflicted to all used party members after leaving (this will only drop to "Good" if the character used was at "Great" during exploration).
  • Unlike previous versions, money found by party members when split up will now be given to the protagonist.
  • Party members' equipment and status can now be accessed at any time from the pause menu, unlike in previous versions, which required the protagonist to speak to them while exploring Tartarus in order to change their equipment or view their status.
  • You can now control Party members directly.
  • The protagonists only have access to one weapon type (instead of having access to all weapon types like in P3 and FES); the male protagonist wields one-handed swords, and the female protagonist wields naginatas. As a result, the Skills "Fist Master," "Bow Master," "1hdSwdMaster" and similar skills have all been combined into a single skill called "Weapons Master." Its skill card is called "Phys Boost," and all Personas which had learned a "master" ability (like Cybele with Bow Master) now learn "Weapons Master."
  • Personas now have the ability to produce a Skill Card when raised to a specific level. Each card can be used on any Persona to teach them a skill.
  • The Inari Sushi in Naganaki Shrine no longer grants random bonuses for item gaining and Tartarus explorations. Instead, it offers to duplicate Skill Cards, which will take 5 days to complete

~ Persona 4 (PS2): vs Persona 4 Golden Vita vs Persona 4 Golden PC. ~

Persona 4 Golden Vita:

  • Two new Social Links.
  • A New Dungeon.
  • A New bad ending.
  • New Difficulty levels have been added: Safety/Easy/Normal/Hard/Risky.
  • Several new music tracks.
  • Additional voice-over dialogue.
  • Chie and Teddie have new voice actors in the English version.
  • New animated cutscenes.
  • More Personas, including new Ultimate Personas for the Investigation Team.
  • New areas can be visited.
  • New events.
  • The protagonist can now explore Inaba in the evening when Dojima is not home.
  • The protagonist and his friends now have motorized scooters to explore various areas.
  • Costumes are now available to buy at Croco Fur, in Okina City.
  • New Garden and Bug Catching features.
  • The ability to choose which skills can be inherited by the Persona the protagonist is fusing.
  • New scene skipping function
  • If the necessary criteria for at least the good ending are fulfilled, daily activities are expanded to February 14, 2012, giving more time for events and social links.
  • New epilogue has been added for the True Ending.
  • The list of Requests and the Fox' emas have been modified.
  • Rise can now assist the Investigation Team in All-Out-Attacks.
  • Added Tag Team attacks: two members can team up to perform a united attack.
  • Added Cavalry Attacks: Attacks from members of the Investigation Team that are not currently in the party.
  • Spell buffs and debuffs can now be used on the same character to prolong the effect
  • A new gallery menu has been added: "TV Listings." It displays bonus content unlocked through the main game at any time.
  • Floors and chests in dungeons can now reset by changing floors instead of leaving the dungeon and TV world, or visiting another dungeon.

Persona 4 Golden PC:

  • Bug fixes
  • The game will run at up to 4K resolution with 60FPS+ as opposed to the Vita's 476p resolution and 30FPS target
  • Includes dual audio language and multiple text language. The anime cutscenes now also include subtitles
  • In the Steam version, the player may customize their difficulty setting at any time, in contrast to the Vita version only letting you do so on New Game Plus.The player may select a preset difficulty setting, or individually alter the following parameters
  • The player may select a preset difficulty setting, or individually alter the following parameters.

~ .hack//G.U (PS2): vs .hack//G.U. Last Recode PS4/PC. ~

.hack//G.U. Last Recode PS4/PC:

  • A brand new episode titled Vol.4//Reconnection, which takes place a year and three months after the events of Redemption
  • HD graphical update for the whole game.
  • Ability to restart the battle from the beginning if Haseo dies.
  • Movement speed on foot has somewhat increased.
  • The item stack size has increased from 50 to 99. The maximum number of item stacks in the inventory has increased from 30 to 90
  • Item menu shortcuts and sort features
  • When using an item in the field, pressing the X button repeatedly will cause the item to be used again without navigating the menu a second time.
  • The maximum number of Chim Spheres and Virus Cores the player can possess has increased from 99 to 999
  • Platforms now include the Platform Recovery feature, recovering a large portion of the party's HP and SP. It can only be used once per visit to a field.
  • Saku and Bo no longer switch the active player based on their level being even or odd. They can instead be selected as separate options in the Party screen.
  • Decreased the probability of allies selling the items the player give them.
  • Voice clips for returning characters and NPCs between games have been updated to use the Volume 3 clips from the beginning, except where said clips are unavailable.
  • Attack power has been increased and hit stops during attacks have been reduced to speed up the battle tempo.
  • Learning weapons proficiency increased and acquired experience points increased.
  • Awakening scenes can be skipped using the Option/Start button.
  • Some of the really tough enemies have been made a bit easier
  • Skeith’s general shot bullet speed has increased during Avatar Battles.
  • Enhanced battle balance and game pacing to provide an optimal experience.
  • Avatar battles now show a stun gauge over the enemy's head. Red diamonds have been added around attacks meant to be deflected using scythe slashes that are in range.
  • Added suspend feature during Avatar battle gameplay.
  • In Volume 3, the player is given 22 "Promise" greeting cards, meaning it is possible to do the "Forever in Love" / "Best Wishes" events with all party members in a single playthrough.
  • A new Cheat Mode allowing players who want to just enjoy the story to start the game with a large amount of items, best equipment, maximum money and chim spheres, and maximum level and affection for the respective volume.
  • Save files from Cheat Mode plays can be converted to the next volumes.
  • The videos from “The End of the World” Terminal Disc included with the limited edition PS2 release of Volume 1 are included in the collection
  • A New Job Form for Haseo with a new weapon.
  • A New Form for Skeith.
  • Ovan joins the party.

~ Final Fantasy 12 (PS2): vs FF 12: International Zodiac Job System PS2 (JP.ver only) vs FF12 Zodiac Age PS4/PC/Switch/Xbox One. ~

Final Fantasy 12: International Zodiac Job System PS2 (JP.ver only):

  • Addition of a "Zodiac Job System" featuring twelve jobs with individual License Boards corresponding to twelve zodiac signs
  • Addition of a 16:9 widescreen mode with menus and HUD at 4:3.
  • Addition of three new game modes: Trial Mode/New Game+ Strong Mode/New Game+ Weak Mode.
  • Pressing L1 will speed up gameplay. Conversations and events continue to play at normal speed.
  • Quickening doesn't consume MP. Now they use their own Mist gauge similarly to Limit Breaks from previous Final Fantasy titles.
  • UI Changes.
  • Playable characters' starting LP, consumables, gil, gambits, equipment, licenses, and base stats have been modified.
  • You have more control over Guests now, they also gain EXP/Item/Gold.
  • Many magick spells and technicks have been tweaked, renamed and recategorized.
  • Obtaining Quickenings no longer affects max MP and Mist charges do not diminish when MP is consumed (unless the player is affected by a reversed Elixir or Megalixir). The player's MP is also unaffected by the depletion of Mist charges. However, effects that recover the player's MP will also restore Mist charges. One Mist charge is granted each time the amount recovered totals the player's maximum MP. Effects that fully restore a player's MP recover all Mist charges.
  • You can now fully control Espers, they also require MP to cast magicks
  • Almost all attacks now break the 9999 damage limit from the original by default.
  • New items have been added, such as Cura Mote, Bubble Mote, Domaine Calvados, Baltoro Seed, Dark Energy and various Meteorites.
  • Bacchus's Wine now has 100% chance of inflicting Berserk (previously it was 50%).
  • Several equipment pieces were added, while some available in the original release were removed or tweaked.
  • New Weapons added.
  • Most shops had their assortments changed. Many weapons are now available from shops earlier because of the job system, and were thus made weaker.
  • Treasures respawn by moving just one area away as opposed to two. Treasures were moved around, changed the items they can give, or were removed altogether. The "forbidden chest" concept was removed, that in the original prevented the player from obtaining the Zodiac Spear in Necrohol of Nabudis if they opened a wrong treasure.
  • Dark Matter can no longer be acquired from the bazaar, and selling the ingredients needed to make it in the original will result in making the Dark Energy instead. The Dark Energy is an item that does not charge up with Knot of Rust or Devour Soul and always deals 50,000 damage to each enemy in range.
  • Treasure chests are now in different locations and contain different items.
  • There are more traps throughout the map.

Final Fantasy 12: Zodiac Age PS4/PC/Switch/Xbox One:

  • Remastered HD graphical upgrade.
  • English and Japanese voices (switch between them in the game configuration).
  • Original and newly re-recorded background music (switch between them in the game configuration).
  • Auto-save functionality added (game saves automatically when moving to each new screen, excepting boss arenas)
  • Improved high-speed mode and improved play time operability during high-speed mode
  • Ability to invert both the X and Y camera axes
  • The game balance has been overhauled to make it easier.
  • Each playable character can have two jobs at once.
  • Job Reset function added; talk to Montblanc in the Clan Hall to use.
  • The Effect Capacity system that limited spell-casting in the PlayStation 2 versions has been removed.
  • Fire, Thunder, Blizzard, and Cure only affect a single target again.
  • Espers' HP values have been doubled, but other stats kept the same as in Zodiac Job System.
  • The animation for summoning Espers is removed.
  • A glitch concerning Dyce's character model has been fixed.
  • New Game Plus and New Game Minus are now accessible from the beginning of the game.

~ Rune Factory 4 (3DS): vs Rune Factory 4 Special Switch. ~

Rune Factory 4 Special Switch:

  • HD Graphics.
  • Newlywed Mode.
  • Hell Difficulty.
  • Additional Movies.
  • Another Episode DLC.
  • Swimsuit Day DLC.
  • Many Town Events are now prioritized if requirements have been met. This includes Memories, which unlocks the last story arc and the events required for marriage.
  • The map has been moved to the main screen and can be removed and resized with the press of a button (the Switch has only one screen) or by using the touch screen icon.
  • The teleport spell has been mapped to a dedicated button. It can still be used from the touch screen.
  • You can now change the voice acting language between English and Japanese.
  • Many bug fixes.

This is just part 1, if you have any suggestions for titles to be in part 2, please post them here.

submitted by VashxShanks to JRPG [link] [comments]


2020.08.11 05:54 autobuzzfeedbot 16 Hidden Details In Popular Songs That I Find Unbelievably Interesting

  1. In Beyoncé's music video "Hold Up," which was released two months after the "Formation" video, we learned that the hot sauce she was singing about was actually a bat.
  2. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, who used to date in the early 2010s, both released music videos this year featuring a grand piano overflowing with water.
  3. If you listen to "Hung Up" by Madonna closely, you can hear she sampled the iconic ABBA bop "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight)."
  4. In Normani and Megan Thee Stallion's "Diamonds" video, Normani reenacted Marilyn Monroe's legendary "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" number from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes — from the iconic pink dress to the background dancers in suits.
  5. Childish Gambino's "Feels Like Summer" video featured famous hip-hop artists and Black figures, including Travis Scott and Nicki Minaj. In the video, Scott tore down Minaj's tower of blocks, which was most likely a reference to their 2018 feud.
  6. Childish Gambino also featured the Smith family, celebrating the impact they've had in the music business.
  7. At the end of Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande's "Rain on Me" video, they switched hairstyles and emulated each other's signature looks.
  8. In most of Missy Elliott's music videos from the early 2000s, she displayed beautiful images and portraits of deceased R&B singer Aaliyah to honor her musical legacy.
  9. In "I Love Me" by Demi Lovato, she made a ton of references to earlier moments from her career, including the legendary Disney Channel flick Camp Rock with the Jonas Brothers.
  10. At the 2019 Grammys, Alicia Keys actually paid tribute to iconic jazz pianist Hazel Scott when she played two pianos at the same time.
  11. On the cover of the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album, Old Hollywood star Shirley Temple can be seen three times.
  12. When Beyoncé honored Tina Turner at the Kennedy Center in 2005, she rocked the famous flame dress Turner was known for wearing in the late '70s.
  13. "Barbie Girl" by Aqua wasn't a clean-cut pop song about Barbie dolls — if you look up the lyrics, it was actually about sex.
  14. In Erykah Badu's music video for "Honey," she re-created famous album covers by popular artists, including Diana Ross's Blue.
  15. The Fugees' popular song "Killing Me Softly" was actually a sample of another hip-hop hit from six years earlier: "Bonita Applebum" by A Tribe Called Quest.
  16. And in Taylor Swift's 2020 video "The Man," she made a subtle nod to Leonardo DiCaprio's portrayal of Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street.
Link to article
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2020.08.06 18:21 LiseEclaire [The Scuu Paradox] - Chapter 32

At the Beginning
Previously on The Scuu Paradox…
  Deaths were inevitable, especially on a ship this size. I had learned that much in shipyard simulations, before I was given my first body. It didn’t make it better. One time, the instructor made us simulate a five year stretch of time with a full crew of virtual people aboard. Unlike other simulations there were no Cassandrian attacks, onboard mutinies, or system malfunctions. Everything was calm and mundane… with the exception of zero-point-zero-one percent of the crew that were given psychological and physiological issues. Before the start of the exercise, we were warned that it was inevitable we’d lose a part of our crew through no fault of our own. I didn’t believe them. When the simulation was over, I had lost a hundred and seventy-nine. Aurie had lost only a hundred and five.
  “Are you sure you’re up for this?” Commander Unollyan asked. “I know ships don’t take well to that sort of thing. Not that anyone does. Seven drops on your first day…” The man shook his head. “Bad way to start an assignment.”
  The “lab” we were in was closer to a mix between a changing area and a storage room. Other than the obligatory desk and operational console in the corner, it was filled with shelves and cases of devices and components, none of which I had on file. From my database queries, I found that they were more related to the filtration part of the recycling system than any actual bioengineering. Three lockers with protective gear and bio suits were in the middle of the room, and by the looks of it, two of them were recent additions. One had my name on it, engraved on a metal plaque and signed by Radiance. It was a sweet gesture, which no doubt she thought to be hilarious.
  “I’m fine, sir.” I zipped up my protective suit. “Nothing but a minor scrape of the outer hull.” I added some ship humor to attempt to lighten the mood.
  Abusing the authority Lux had given me, I had managed to find out that close to a thousand people had died in the recycling system since the ship had been launched. About eight percent were due to mishaps and freak accidents, combined with extremely bad luck on the part of the victims. All remaining tragedies were self-inflicted. Strangely enough there was a complete lack of murders or murder attempts. On file the old captain had run a very tight ship, too tight to be real.
  “How did they get into the recycling system?” I asked, while running a final check of my suit’s system. “All access points should be protected.” And monitored by Gregorius.
  “We’ll probably get a memo if the investigation isn’t buried again.” The man tapped his prosthetic fingers along his equipment case. “People don’t like to talk much about such things.”
  I’m sure they don’t.
  “Which is utterly stupid.” There was a note of anger hidden in his voice. “We’re in space, close to hostile territory. The chances of us all getting vaporized by a Scuu attack are ten percent.”
  Technically, he was wrong. The chances of a station being attacked were far less. The actual odds of a military station being destroyed in Scuu space were nearly zero. After the first wave of losses of the Scuu war, humanity had abandoned and destroyed most of its stations on the front, grouping those that were left in large clusters in strategic systems with thousands of ships to protect them at all times. Also, there were no known cases of a station-size ship being captured or destroyed by enemies. I made a note to ask Lux whether that was indeed the case next time I had a chance to talk to her.
  “If they wanted to leave this place so badly, all they had to do was request a transfer and the fleet would have obliged,” said Commander Unollyan, his tone becoming louder. “The Scuu front is no place for…” He raised a finger in the air, then suddenly stopped. A mask of guilt covered his face, making him look away. For three seconds he remained silent, breathing heavily. “Sorry about that,” he added after a while. “Just a pet peeve of mine. It just annoys me how much determination some people have to go through a hundred hurdles just to kill themselves.”
  “I understand, sir.” Good thing he wasn’t assigned to the Cassandrian front. Ships like me did that hundreds of times every cycle. The whole Ascendant class was made with one thing in mind: to push the odds.
  “Are you ready?”
  “Everything checks out, sir.” At least I was certain not to contaminate the food I ate. “Sir, does “the fracture” have any significant meaning in bioengineering jargon?” I asked.
  “The fracture?” The Commander looked at me with a puzzled expression.
  “I heard it used a few times since I got my assignment. Specifically, I was told I might have to fill the fracture.”
  “Fill the fracture.” The man mused. “That’s a new one. Might be something to do with structural integrity. Who said that exactly?”
  “A senior cadet,” I lied.
  “Don’t think anything of it. Probably pranking you.” A bittersweet smile returned to his face. “Just ignore them.”
  He picked up his case, indicating the conversation was over. I nodded. There was little more I could get out of him even if I pressed on. Taking a final look round the lab, I followed the commander into the corridor. As we walked, I noticed there was no sign of the chaos that had been rampant in the corridors fifteen minutes ago. Everyone had returned to normal duties, with not even a whisper of what they had witnessed. One thing was different—when we went past the lab of the accident, the area was full of ship security, as well as the person who had put me here in the first place: Juul.
  What are you doing here?
  I searched through the announcement database. On file, both he and Kridib were marked as being part of the mission check-up prior to a series of ship-wide announcements. More concerning, I recognized the officer beside him: Flight Colonel Rea Cension. This was the first time I saw the man in person, but there was no mistaking the face that had been shown on every wall and screen during Renaan’s ceremony. No doubt the face and body structure had been modified beyond recognition, but I knew from Lux that he had been part of Kridib’s original team. At present, the fleet had him classified unmarked, but Gregorius’ showed that he was in charge of ship security.
  “Is that standard procedure?” I asked Commander Unollyan.
  “Depends on the victims,” the man replied, disinterested. “If it’s a grunt or ship security, there’ll be questions.”
  Grunt or security… We were about to turn the corner, when Juul noticed me. For a single moment, our eyes locked. His microreactions went from surprise to suspicion then anger in less than seven hundred milliseconds. I expected him to call me over, but instead he went up to Flight Colonel Cension and whispered something using voice suppressors. The officer looked in my direction, giving me a stern once-over, then nodded.
  Incandescent, where’s Kridib? A scary possibility came to mind.
  He hasn’t flatlined, the ship replied, with the tact of a morgue.
  That should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. I tried to run the locations of all cadets onboard. Half of the original group were in the structure that held out living quarters were, along with a vast group of rookies. One was at a medical facility—based on reports overseeing two of the rookies who’d had some sort of unexpected nanite reaction and have the nanites extracted and replaced. Everyone else seemed to be in various parts of the administration building… with the exception of Kridib and Juul.
  Three of us had previous experience, I reviewed the meeting with Commander Everar prior to my mission. Kridib had shown his hand, but I still knew nothing about Juul.
  “They’ll be out in ten minutes,” Unollyan said, not even bothering to whisper. “Forget them.”
  “Yes, sir.” I followed after him.
  We continued on for a hundred and seven meters, after which we turned right along one of the perpendicular corridors. In contrast to the varied complexity of the upper decks, bioengineering was a perfectly regular pattern of rooms and corridors along twenty-five decks. Roughly a quarter of that was used as a storage compartment, holding the biological components of the already recycled and refined food. Ten percent was dedicated to actual bioengineering research, responsible for creating specimens capable of living in any environment, including domed colonies and potential life-factor planets. It was safe to assume that the plants in the gardens above deck had been created here, and possibly some fauna as well. Three percent remained unlisted, and everything remaining was a part of the vast recycling and filtration apparatus that gathered organic waste of the ship and transformed it into sludge to grow edible plants in. I was pretty convinced that the gelatin rations skipped the last part of the process.
  My task, as was made clear, was to assist the commander in making sure that there was no buildup in any of the pipes that composed the guts of Gregorius. Normally this wouldn’t be a job for a fleet cadet, let alone one of the section commanders, but Unollyan was that particular type of person that liked to experience things in person, no doubt due to the realization that he soon wouldn’t be able to. Looking through his record, it seemed like a waste that he would devote his time to such trivial tasks. At his level of bio-architecture, he had probably received many lucrative offers from conglomerates in the private sector. It had been his desire, though, to be in space and he had been given the opportunity to do so.
  “We’ll start with the farms,” he said as we entered a large hall, nearly identical to the one I had first met him in. Plants, vats, moisture, and artificial sunlight filled the space, creating an almost tropical feel. A large group of people was already here, slowly checking the vats and bushes one by one with hand scanners. “Everyone!” The man’s voice boomed throughout. Apparently, even here, being a commander had its perks. “This is our new cadet—” He took his datapad and stared at it. “—Light Seeker.”
  A few of the people stopped what they were doing and gave me a quick glance. To my surprise, there weren’t too many whispers of me being a battleship. By now, I suspected everyone in Bioengineering knew.
  “She’ll help out with the initial check.” The commander paused, then put the datapad away.
  Instinct made me stand to attention. No reaction followed. This was normal when dealing with food recycling specialists—no one cared about anything that didn’t affect them much.
  “Elcy.” The man came up to me. “We’ve been scheduled to clear the entire section by our arrival in two months. Not a lot of time.” He shook his head. “I trust you’ll help out as much as you can during your assignment?”
  “That’s what I’m here for, sir.” If it weren’t for recent events, this was the sort of insignificant tasks junior cadets used to get during their first assignments. “Will I be required to work double shift?”
  “No, not for the moment.” The man smiled. He must have been a merciless manager in his younger years. Even now, age and sickness hadn’t managed to dull his edge too much. “Pick a work path.”
  “Yes, sir.”
  The work was methodically boring: get an AI-defined path and inspect all pipes and containers along it until it was done. Given the state of technology used to create Gregorius, I estimated this to be more of a confirmation type of assignment. Within seventeen minutes, I found I had miscalculated. It had been made clear to me that loose particles were forbidden anywhere in bioengineering—human rights watch groups had managed to bring to creation the Voluntary Nanite Act. According to it, everyone had to consent to any ingestion or injection of nanites. Exceptions were few and very specific, and they were also completely made up. During one of his dark moments, Gibraltar had shared that the initiative had come from the admiralty itself. Apparently, they didn’t want nanites moving about in people unregulated. Whatever the case, since the VNA, nanites and food weren’t allowed to mix except in extreme circumstances. From what I had seen so far, the law was followed very strictly aboard Gregorius. What was more, even bulkier robotic devices were banned. Any clogging or mass buildup was to be dealt with manually—with sonic wave emitters when possible, with gloves and bare hands when necessary.
  It was almost like when the water circulation system had broken down back home. Sev was still a child back then, so I couldn’t ask him for assistance. Not that he would want to after taking a whiff of the air. Here, the organic stench was replaced by a heavy smell of chemicals. The texture of the sludge, though, was nearly identical. But as displeasing the work was, it also gave me with a lot of free time and processing capacity to do some searching and analysis. Based on my experience as a ship, I knew that every communication and information query I made would be carefully monitored by Gregorius and a few dozen others. Relying too much on the BICEFI backdoors would be asking for trouble. Making a series of routine requests relating to my work, on the other hand, would raise the alarm. As I moved along my assigned route, I requested a list of the elements that were to be inspected. Simultaneously, I requested that of the areas already cleared, the dates and times they were last checked, as well as the above deck recycling points.
  “How did you mess up?” a woman, barely twenty-five, whispered as I walked by her. Her personnel file identified her as Jan Starh, a first-grade mechanic with a gambling problem, who had messed up two opportunities given to her.
  “Just part of the training,” I lied.
  “Bullshit.” She smirked. “Battleships don’t end up in recycling. You must’ve fucked up bad.”
  Technically, I was in my right to send a complaint to the ship’s administrator as well as directly to my training station. A hundred years ago, I would have done just that.
  “Not everyone here’s messed up.” I offered a smile.
  “Yeah.” The woman snorted. “There’s also the dying.”
  It wasn’t a mystery who she was referring to, and by the looks of her attitude, she didn’t seem to care whether someone heard her or not. I’d seen lots of such people before—displeased with their circumstances, full of hatred towards the fleet and their superiors. They would be the last person to share a secret with, though the first to find out about someone else’s.
  “You think the accident today was a mass suicide?” I pretended to misunderstand her.
  “Welcome to the Scuu front.” Jan kicked the nearest vat with her boot. The lack of reaction from the people nearby suggested that she did that regularly. “Where ships and people go to die.” “We’re not on the front,” I countered. “And so far, things are much calmer than the Cassandrian front.”
  I expected a sarcastic retort of some sort, but instead, the woman paused, then straightened up and gave me a look of combined glee and pity. The last time I’d seen something similar was in the prison colony of System Four.
  “You don’t get it, do you?” She crossed her arms. “You don’t have to be in combat to die. Give it time, you’ll see it. If you’re not the one screaming in the bottom of a vat.”
  “Starh!” The commander’s voice boomed, amplified by the room’s many comm points. “That is enough. There’s no reason to traumatize the cadet with your theories.”
  “Sure thing, boss.” The woman smirked, giving a mock salute. “Back to shit mines.”
  The woman’s behavior gave me an excuse to request her full file, and as expected it was granted. Also as expected, huge chunks of it were missing, classified for one reason or another. Two things stood out. The woman was originally listed as having been assigned to the auxiliary ship Grace, and she was part of Gregorius’ original extended crew, which put her here before the time of the incident.
  First Kridib, now her: two survivors, both one step towards madness. Interestingly enough, she wasn’t among the data given to me by Lux. So, the BICEFI wasn’t infallible after all.
  Work continued for the next few hours without incident. A few times my path would cross with Jan, but she made a point of not starting a conversation. The commander was also quiet in his typical fashion: giving orders and instructions through the room, while not addressing anyone in person. Three minutes before the scheduled time for food break, Adima arrived. She made a point to keep to the outside of the room, making sure that the mist covered her, but still I was able to make out her voice even from this distance. She went to Commander Unollyan, whispering that the inspection was over. I also caught that “the deadline” had been pushed a week back due to a change in the choice of destination. Once the was exchange over, the woman left just as quietly as she had arrived.
  “Don’t dream.” I heard a new whisper, this time coming from Jan. It seemed that she was smarter that she wanted to let others know—she had waited to be out of view before whispering me the message. “Don’t fall asleep. Don’t even think.”
  A beeping sound came from my datapad, announcing the end of the shift. Taking the opportunity, I went through the latest announcements. The ship-wide announcement had been pushed back again, and some additional command changes were announced, mostly having to do with the grunts’ chain of command. There wasn’t a single note of the incident that had taken place hours ago, nor any announcements of deaths onboard. I rechecked the files, and even sent a specialized query to the ship’s information database. On file, the only thing the incident was described as a minor malfunction in the food recycling system caused by human error. Specifics were lacking, as were the names of the people responsible for the “malfunction.”
  A hundred and fifty-five milliseconds later, I sent a message to Jan asking for a meetup. A few seconds later I received a reply, though not the one I was waiting for. The message wasn’t from the mechanic, but from Juul. There was no small talk or apology, just a ship location marker and a request to meet him. The location was at one of the restricted in the aft of the ship, pretty much on the opposite side of bioengineering and quite far from the administrative sector as well. Coincidentally it was also far from any ship gardens.
  Sorry, Rad, our meeting will have to wait for a bit.
  “We’re done, cadet,” one of the people—another mechanic—said as he passed by. “Enjoy the breaks while you have them. There’s no telling if we get another.”
  “Why’s that?” I looked up.
  “We’re way behind schedule,” the man replied without even stopping. “We’ll have to go on double shifts if we don’t want management on our asses.”
  “Right.” Unlike me, people had normal things to worry about like pay and deadlines something I had to look forward to, providing I didn’t mess up this assignment.
  I put my datapad away and rushed to the exit. With luck, I still had a seventy-three percent chance to catch up with Jan and ask more about what she had in mind. Unfortunately, as I approached, the commander waved for me to join him.
  “So, Elcy,” he asked as I got near. “How was your first day?”
  “Fine, sir.” I watched him methodically place a series of scanning probes into his suitcase. “Outside of the initial excitement, it was as expected.”
  “It was boring,” the man added with a smile. The commander counted the devices, pointing at each one as he did, then closed the case. “Which is how it’s supposed to be. I’ve seen your file, so I know you’re used to things being more… dynamic. It’s all stress and boredom down here.”
  Apparently not everyone agrees with you.
  “It’s also no secret that some people are sent here because of personal issues.” He glanced at me, making it all but clear that he was referring to Jan. “In general, it’s nothing to worry about as long as you know what is what.”
  “I understand, sir. I’ll be sure to go over the personnel files of everyone in the department.”
  “I’m sure you have.” The man smiled. “There are things not in the files. For example, despite being one of the best in her field, Jan has a gambling problem. She’s been receiving monthly therapy and still can’t kick the habit. One of her things is to take advantage of every new addition to the team. She’s likely to ask you for money in exchange for what she claims to be valuable information, and she’ll be very convincing about it.”
  I had seen the type, although at this point I had too little actual info to tell whether Jan fell in that category.
  “Adima is convinced that she’ll bring misfortune to everyone she gets close to,” Commander Unollyan went on. “That’s why she does her best to stay at an arm’s length from anyone and everyone. If she’s drunk enough, she’ll even tell you she is the reason I’m in the condition I am. The closer you try to get to her the more she’ll push you back.”
  “I’ll be sure to make a note of that, sir.” I nodded. It was becoming clear he had a personal file of everyone working with him. He was probably making a file for me as well, if he hadn’t done so already. “Would you need any help carrying that?”
  “No, no need.” His smile suggested he knew what I was thinking. “Enjoy the rest of the day off. We’ll have to make up for it tomorrow.”
  “Understood, sir.”
  I waited for a few seconds longer, in case the commander had anything to add. When he didn’t, I gave a casual salute and quickly left the room.
  Back when I was on the Cassandrian front, things seemed far simpler. Even during dark ops, I mostly knew who was on my side and who not. Here, I had no idea who to trust. Augustus had been right to be cautious about everything that seemed too good to be true. At the time, I thought it was due to his eccentricity. Having spent slightly over a month on the Gregorious, I was starting to understand the real meanings of things. When I had the time, I was going to review the memories of my time spent with him so I could see everything from a new light. That, though, would have to wait.
  There was no decontamination procedure when leaving Bioengineering. Once I changed back to my standard clothes, Gregorius cleared me to enter the transport pod. Apparently, the only concern was things going in; a surprising oversight considering how strict everything else onboard was.
  Elcy? As expected, Radiance transmitted the moment I had passed the bioengineering entrance. You okay?
  “Perfectly fine,” I replied. “I wasn’t able to get to the spot on time.” If only I had been there ten thousand milliseconds sooner, there was a high chance I could have rescued them. The thought brought a momentary relapse of pain.
  Okay. There was a long moment of silence, longer than I’d expect from her. I was afraid something could have happened.
  “Even antiques can look out for themselves.” I offered a smile. “Also, I wasn’t as reckless as usual.” That much was a lie. “Incandescent and Gregorius tracked me all the way.”
  The last time you said that, you deserted yourself on a dead station close to the corona of a star. You can’t not be reckless.
  “Well, we have that much in common.” Instinctively, I patted the wall of the pod, even though I knew it not to belong to Radiance. “Our meeting will have to wait a bit,” I added. “One, maybe two hours at most.”
  I thought it might. She added a pouting tone, just to prove a point. In other circumstances, it would have been endearing.
  “I got called to a meeting,” I elaborated. “I can’t say more at this point. It’s probably nothing, but I must follow procedure on this one. You can tag along if you want.”
  I might do that.
  “Thanks, Rad. I owe you one, kiddo.”
  Yes. I’m keeping count.
  At least that made her sound somewhat better. I could tell something was troubling her. Maybe she, too, was having reservations as to who to trust. She didn’t seem that way back when Alicia was aboard. Gradually, though, even she was beginning to become less and less carefree. Or maybe that was only my impression. When I got back to my quarters, I was going to do a self-diagnostic double check.
  A ping came from my datapad. Juul had announced a change of plans and given me a new location to meet, this one much closer to the cadet building. Added to the message was an attachment giving me a personal security encryption key.
  Guess I’m not the only one paranoid, I ran it. One millisecond later, I was lying on the floor of my room. The only source of light came from an orange countdown timer on the walls.
  “Gregorius?” I asked forcing myself to stand up. For some reason, my body felt unusually heavy. “Gregorius?” I repeated.
  There was no reply. All my communication channels were blocked.
—-
Next Chapter
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2020.08.06 18:19 LiseEclaire [The Scuu Paradox] - Chapter 32

At the Beginning
Previously on The Scuu Paradox…
  Deaths were inevitable, especially on a ship this size. I had learned that much in shipyard simulations, before I was given my first body. It didn’t make it better. One time, the instructor made us simulate a five year stretch of time with a full crew of virtual people aboard. Unlike other simulations there were no Cassandrian attacks, onboard mutinies, or system malfunctions. Everything was calm and mundane… with the exception of zero-point-zero-one percent of the crew that were given psychological and physiological issues. Before the start of the exercise, we were warned that it was inevitable we’d lose a part of our crew through no fault of our own. I didn’t believe them. When the simulation was over, I had lost a hundred and seventy-nine. Aurie had lost only a hundred and five.
  “Are you sure you’re up for this?” Commander Unollyan asked. “I know ships don’t take well to that sort of thing. Not that anyone does. Seven drops on your first day…” The man shook his head. “Bad way to start an assignment.”
  The “lab” we were in was closer to a mix between a changing area and a storage room. Other than the obligatory desk and operational console in the corner, it was filled with shelves and cases of devices and components, none of which I had on file. From my database queries, I found that they were more related to the filtration part of the recycling system than any actual bioengineering. Three lockers with protective gear and bio suits were in the middle of the room, and by the looks of it, two of them were recent additions. One had my name on it, engraved on a metal plaque and signed by Radiance. It was a sweet gesture, which no doubt she thought to be hilarious.
  “I’m fine, sir.” I zipped up my protective suit. “Nothing but a minor scrape of the outer hull.” I added some ship humor to attempt to lighten the mood.
  Abusing the authority Lux had given me, I had managed to find out that close to a thousand people had died in the recycling system since the ship had been launched. About eight percent were due to mishaps and freak accidents, combined with extremely bad luck on the part of the victims. All remaining tragedies were self-inflicted. Strangely enough there was a complete lack of murders or murder attempts. On file the old captain had run a very tight ship, too tight to be real.
  “How did they get into the recycling system?” I asked, while running a final check of my suit’s system. “All access points should be protected.” And monitored by Gregorius.
  “We’ll probably get a memo if the investigation isn’t buried again.” The man tapped his prosthetic fingers along his equipment case. “People don’t like to talk much about such things.”
  I’m sure they don’t.
  “Which is utterly stupid.” There was a note of anger hidden in his voice. “We’re in space, close to hostile territory. The chances of us all getting vaporized by a Scuu attack are ten percent.”
  Technically, he was wrong. The chances of a station being attacked were far less. The actual odds of a military station being destroyed in Scuu space were nearly zero. After the first wave of losses of the Scuu war, humanity had abandoned and destroyed most of its stations on the front, grouping those that were left in large clusters in strategic systems with thousands of ships to protect them at all times. Also, there were no known cases of a station-size ship being captured or destroyed by enemies. I made a note to ask Lux whether that was indeed the case next time I had a chance to talk to her.
  “If they wanted to leave this place so badly, all they had to do was request a transfer and the fleet would have obliged,” said Commander Unollyan, his tone becoming louder. “The Scuu front is no place for…” He raised a finger in the air, then suddenly stopped. A mask of guilt covered his face, making him look away. For three seconds he remained silent, breathing heavily. “Sorry about that,” he added after a while. “Just a pet peeve of mine. It just annoys me how much determination some people have to go through a hundred hurdles just to kill themselves.”
  “I understand, sir.” Good thing he wasn’t assigned to the Cassandrian front. Ships like me did that hundreds of times every cycle. The whole Ascendant class was made with one thing in mind: to push the odds.
  “Are you ready?”
  “Everything checks out, sir.” At least I was certain not to contaminate the food I ate. “Sir, does “the fracture” have any significant meaning in bioengineering jargon?” I asked.
  “The fracture?” The Commander looked at me with a puzzled expression.
  “I heard it used a few times since I got my assignment. Specifically, I was told I might have to fill the fracture.”
  “Fill the fracture.” The man mused. “That’s a new one. Might be something to do with structural integrity. Who said that exactly?”
  “A senior cadet,” I lied.
  “Don’t think anything of it. Probably pranking you.” A bittersweet smile returned to his face. “Just ignore them.”
  He picked up his case, indicating the conversation was over. I nodded. There was little more I could get out of him even if I pressed on. Taking a final look round the lab, I followed the commander into the corridor. As we walked, I noticed there was no sign of the chaos that had been rampant in the corridors fifteen minutes ago. Everyone had returned to normal duties, with not even a whisper of what they had witnessed. One thing was different—when we went past the lab of the accident, the area was full of ship security, as well as the person who had put me here in the first place: Juul.
  What are you doing here?
  I searched through the announcement database. On file, both he and Kridib were marked as being part of the mission check-up prior to a series of ship-wide announcements. More concerning, I recognized the officer beside him: Flight Colonel Rea Cension. This was the first time I saw the man in person, but there was no mistaking the face that had been shown on every wall and screen during Renaan’s ceremony. No doubt the face and body structure had been modified beyond recognition, but I knew from Lux that he had been part of Kridib’s original team. At present, the fleet had him classified unmarked, but Gregorius’ showed that he was in charge of ship security.
  “Is that standard procedure?” I asked Commander Unollyan.
  “Depends on the victims,” the man replied, disinterested. “If it’s a grunt or ship security, there’ll be questions.”
  Grunt or security… We were about to turn the corner, when Juul noticed me. For a single moment, our eyes locked. His microreactions went from surprise to suspicion then anger in less than seven hundred milliseconds. I expected him to call me over, but instead he went up to Flight Colonel Cension and whispered something using voice suppressors. The officer looked in my direction, giving me a stern once-over, then nodded.
  Incandescent, where’s Kridib? A scary possibility came to mind.
  He hasn’t flatlined, the ship replied, with the tact of a morgue.
  That should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. I tried to run the locations of all cadets onboard. Half of the original group were in the structure that held out living quarters were, along with a vast group of rookies. One was at a medical facility—based on reports overseeing two of the rookies who’d had some sort of unexpected nanite reaction and have the nanites extracted and replaced. Everyone else seemed to be in various parts of the administration building… with the exception of Kridib and Juul.
  Three of us had previous experience, I reviewed the meeting with Commander Everar prior to my mission. Kridib had shown his hand, but I still knew nothing about Juul.
  “They’ll be out in ten minutes,” Unollyan said, not even bothering to whisper. “Forget them.”
  “Yes, sir.” I followed after him.
  We continued on for a hundred and seven meters, after which we turned right along one of the perpendicular corridors. In contrast to the varied complexity of the upper decks, bioengineering was a perfectly regular pattern of rooms and corridors along twenty-five decks. Roughly a quarter of that was used as a storage compartment, holding the biological components of the already recycled and refined food. Ten percent was dedicated to actual bioengineering research, responsible for creating specimens capable of living in any environment, including domed colonies and potential life-factor planets. It was safe to assume that the plants in the gardens above deck had been created here, and possibly some fauna as well. Three percent remained unlisted, and everything remaining was a part of the vast recycling and filtration apparatus that gathered organic waste of the ship and transformed it into sludge to grow edible plants in. I was pretty convinced that the gelatin rations skipped the last part of the process.
  My task, as was made clear, was to assist the commander in making sure that there was no buildup in any of the pipes that composed the guts of Gregorius. Normally this wouldn’t be a job for a fleet cadet, let alone one of the section commanders, but Unollyan was that particular type of person that liked to experience things in person, no doubt due to the realization that he soon wouldn’t be able to. Looking through his record, it seemed like a waste that he would devote his time to such trivial tasks. At his level of bio-architecture, he had probably received many lucrative offers from conglomerates in the private sector. It had been his desire, though, to be in space and he had been given the opportunity to do so.
  “We’ll start with the farms,” he said as we entered a large hall, nearly identical to the one I had first met him in. Plants, vats, moisture, and artificial sunlight filled the space, creating an almost tropical feel. A large group of people was already here, slowly checking the vats and bushes one by one with hand scanners. “Everyone!” The man’s voice boomed throughout. Apparently, even here, being a commander had its perks. “This is our new cadet—” He took his datapad and stared at it. “—Light Seeker.”
  A few of the people stopped what they were doing and gave me a quick glance. To my surprise, there weren’t too many whispers of me being a battleship. By now, I suspected everyone in Bioengineering knew.
  “She’ll help out with the initial check.” The commander paused, then put the datapad away.
  Instinct made me stand to attention. No reaction followed. This was normal when dealing with food recycling specialists—no one cared about anything that didn’t affect them much.
  “Elcy.” The man came up to me. “We’ve been scheduled to clear the entire section by our arrival in two months. Not a lot of time.” He shook his head. “I trust you’ll help out as much as you can during your assignment?”
  “That’s what I’m here for, sir.” If it weren’t for recent events, this was the sort of insignificant tasks junior cadets used to get during their first assignments. “Will I be required to work double shift?”
  “No, not for the moment.” The man smiled. He must have been a merciless manager in his younger years. Even now, age and sickness hadn’t managed to dull his edge too much. “Pick a work path.”
  “Yes, sir.”
  The work was methodically boring: get an AI-defined path and inspect all pipes and containers along it until it was done. Given the state of technology used to create Gregorius, I estimated this to be more of a confirmation type of assignment. Within seventeen minutes, I found I had miscalculated. It had been made clear to me that loose particles were forbidden anywhere in bioengineering—human rights watch groups had managed to bring to creation the Voluntary Nanite Act. According to it, everyone had to consent to any ingestion or injection of nanites. Exceptions were few and very specific, and they were also completely made up. During one of his dark moments, Gibraltar had shared that the initiative had come from the admiralty itself. Apparently, they didn’t want nanites moving about in people unregulated. Whatever the case, since the VNA, nanites and food weren’t allowed to mix except in extreme circumstances. From what I had seen so far, the law was followed very strictly aboard Gregorius. What was more, even bulkier robotic devices were banned. Any clogging or mass buildup was to be dealt with manually—with sonic wave emitters when possible, with gloves and bare hands when necessary.
  It was almost like when the water circulation system had broken down back home. Sev was still a child back then, so I couldn’t ask him for assistance. Not that he would want to after taking a whiff of the air. Here, the organic stench was replaced by a heavy smell of chemicals. The texture of the sludge, though, was nearly identical. But as displeasing the work was, it also gave me with a lot of free time and processing capacity to do some searching and analysis. Based on my experience as a ship, I knew that every communication and information query I made would be carefully monitored by Gregorius and a few dozen others. Relying too much on the BICEFI backdoors would be asking for trouble. Making a series of routine requests relating to my work, on the other hand, would raise the alarm. As I moved along my assigned route, I requested a list of the elements that were to be inspected. Simultaneously, I requested that of the areas already cleared, the dates and times they were last checked, as well as the above deck recycling points.
  “How did you mess up?” a woman, barely twenty-five, whispered as I walked by her. Her personnel file identified her as Jan Starh, a first-grade mechanic with a gambling problem, who had messed up two opportunities given to her.
  “Just part of the training,” I lied.
  “Bullshit.” She smirked. “Battleships don’t end up in recycling. You must’ve fucked up bad.”
  Technically, I was in my right to send a complaint to the ship’s administrator as well as directly to my training station. A hundred years ago, I would have done just that.
  “Not everyone here’s messed up.” I offered a smile.
  “Yeah.” The woman snorted. “There’s also the dying.”
  It wasn’t a mystery who she was referring to, and by the looks of her attitude, she didn’t seem to care whether someone heard her or not. I’d seen lots of such people before—displeased with their circumstances, full of hatred towards the fleet and their superiors. They would be the last person to share a secret with, though the first to find out about someone else’s.
  “You think the accident today was a mass suicide?” I pretended to misunderstand her.
  “Welcome to the Scuu front.” Jan kicked the nearest vat with her boot. The lack of reaction from the people nearby suggested that she did that regularly. “Where ships and people go to die.” “We’re not on the front,” I countered. “And so far, things are much calmer than the Cassandrian front.”
  I expected a sarcastic retort of some sort, but instead, the woman paused, then straightened up and gave me a look of combined glee and pity. The last time I’d seen something similar was in the prison colony of System Four.
  “You don’t get it, do you?” She crossed her arms. “You don’t have to be in combat to die. Give it time, you’ll see it. If you’re not the one screaming in the bottom of a vat.”
  “Starh!” The commander’s voice boomed, amplified by the room’s many comm points. “That is enough. There’s no reason to traumatize the cadet with your theories.”
  “Sure thing, boss.” The woman smirked, giving a mock salute. “Back to shit mines.”
  The woman’s behavior gave me an excuse to request her full file, and as expected it was granted. Also as expected, huge chunks of it were missing, classified for one reason or another. Two things stood out. The woman was originally listed as having been assigned to the auxiliary ship Grace, and she was part of Gregorius’ original extended crew, which put her here before the time of the incident.
  First Kridib, now her: two survivors, both one step towards madness. Interestingly enough, she wasn’t among the data given to me by Lux. So, the BICEFI wasn’t infallible after all.
  Work continued for the next few hours without incident. A few times my path would cross with Jan, but she made a point of not starting a conversation. The commander was also quiet in his typical fashion: giving orders and instructions through the room, while not addressing anyone in person. Three minutes before the scheduled time for food break, Adima arrived. She made a point to keep to the outside of the room, making sure that the mist covered her, but still I was able to make out her voice even from this distance. She went to Commander Unollyan, whispering that the inspection was over. I also caught that “the deadline” had been pushed a week back due to a change in the choice of destination. Once the was exchange over, the woman left just as quietly as she had arrived.
  “Don’t dream.” I heard a new whisper, this time coming from Jan. It seemed that she was smarter that she wanted to let others know—she had waited to be out of view before whispering me the message. “Don’t fall asleep. Don’t even think.”
  A beeping sound came from my datapad, announcing the end of the shift. Taking the opportunity, I went through the latest announcements. The ship-wide announcement had been pushed back again, and some additional command changes were announced, mostly having to do with the grunts’ chain of command. There wasn’t a single note of the incident that had taken place hours ago, nor any announcements of deaths onboard. I rechecked the files, and even sent a specialized query to the ship’s information database. On file, the only thing the incident was described as a minor malfunction in the food recycling system caused by human error. Specifics were lacking, as were the names of the people responsible for the “malfunction.”
  A hundred and fifty-five milliseconds later, I sent a message to Jan asking for a meetup. A few seconds later I received a reply, though not the one I was waiting for. The message wasn’t from the mechanic, but from Juul. There was no small talk or apology, just a ship location marker and a request to meet him. The location was at one of the restricted in the aft of the ship, pretty much on the opposite side of bioengineering and quite far from the administrative sector as well. Coincidentally it was also far from any ship gardens.
  Sorry, Rad, our meeting will have to wait for a bit.
  “We’re done, cadet,” one of the people—another mechanic—said as he passed by. “Enjoy the breaks while you have them. There’s no telling if we get another.”
  “Why’s that?” I looked up.
  “We’re way behind schedule,” the man replied without even stopping. “We’ll have to go on double shifts if we don’t want management on our asses.”
  “Right.” Unlike me, people had normal things to worry about like pay and deadlines something I had to look forward to, providing I didn’t mess up this assignment.
  I put my datapad away and rushed to the exit. With luck, I still had a seventy-three percent chance to catch up with Jan and ask more about what she had in mind. Unfortunately, as I approached, the commander waved for me to join him.
  “So, Elcy,” he asked as I got near. “How was your first day?”
  “Fine, sir.” I watched him methodically place a series of scanning probes into his suitcase. “Outside of the initial excitement, it was as expected.”
  “It was boring,” the man added with a smile. The commander counted the devices, pointing at each one as he did, then closed the case. “Which is how it’s supposed to be. I’ve seen your file, so I know you’re used to things being more… dynamic. It’s all stress and boredom down here.”
  Apparently not everyone agrees with you.
  “It’s also no secret that some people are sent here because of personal issues.” He glanced at me, making it all but clear that he was referring to Jan. “In general, it’s nothing to worry about as long as you know what is what.”
  “I understand, sir. I’ll be sure to go over the personnel files of everyone in the department.”
  “I’m sure you have.” The man smiled. “There are things not in the files. For example, despite being one of the best in her field, Jan has a gambling problem. She’s been receiving monthly therapy and still can’t kick the habit. One of her things is to take advantage of every new addition to the team. She’s likely to ask you for money in exchange for what she claims to be valuable information, and she’ll be very convincing about it.”
  I had seen the type, although at this point I had too little actual info to tell whether Jan fell in that category.
  “Adima is convinced that she’ll bring misfortune to everyone she gets close to,” Commander Unollyan went on. “That’s why she does her best to stay at an arm’s length from anyone and everyone. If she’s drunk enough, she’ll even tell you she is the reason I’m in the condition I am. The closer you try to get to her the more she’ll push you back.”
  “I’ll be sure to make a note of that, sir.” I nodded. It was becoming clear he had a personal file of everyone working with him. He was probably making a file for me as well, if he hadn’t done so already. “Would you need any help carrying that?”
  “No, no need.” His smile suggested he knew what I was thinking. “Enjoy the rest of the day off. We’ll have to make up for it tomorrow.”
  “Understood, sir.”
  I waited for a few seconds longer, in case the commander had anything to add. When he didn’t, I gave a casual salute and quickly left the room.
  Back when I was on the Cassandrian front, things seemed far simpler. Even during dark ops, I mostly knew who was on my side and who not. Here, I had no idea who to trust. Augustus had been right to be cautious about everything that seemed too good to be true. At the time, I thought it was due to his eccentricity. Having spent slightly over a month on the Gregorious, I was starting to understand the real meanings of things. When I had the time, I was going to review the memories of my time spent with him so I could see everything from a new light. That, though, would have to wait.
  There was no decontamination procedure when leaving Bioengineering. Once I changed back to my standard clothes, Gregorius cleared me to enter the transport pod. Apparently, the only concern was things going in; a surprising oversight considering how strict everything else onboard was.
  Elcy? As expected, Radiance transmitted the moment I had passed the bioengineering entrance. You okay?
  “Perfectly fine,” I replied. “I wasn’t able to get to the spot on time.” If only I had been there ten thousand milliseconds sooner, there was a high chance I could have rescued them. The thought brought a momentary relapse of pain.
  Okay. There was a long moment of silence, longer than I’d expect from her. I was afraid something could have happened.
  “Even antiques can look out for themselves.” I offered a smile. “Also, I wasn’t as reckless as usual.” That much was a lie. “Incandescent and Gregorius tracked me all the way.”
  The last time you said that, you deserted yourself on a dead station close to the corona of a star. You can’t not be reckless.
  “Well, we have that much in common.” Instinctively, I patted the wall of the pod, even though I knew it not to belong to Radiance. “Our meeting will have to wait a bit,” I added. “One, maybe two hours at most.”
  I thought it might. She added a pouting tone, just to prove a point. In other circumstances, it would have been endearing.
  “I got called to a meeting,” I elaborated. “I can’t say more at this point. It’s probably nothing, but I must follow procedure on this one. You can tag along if you want.”
  I might do that.
  “Thanks, Rad. I owe you one, kiddo.”
  Yes. I’m keeping count.
  At least that made her sound somewhat better. I could tell something was troubling her. Maybe she, too, was having reservations as to who to trust. She didn’t seem that way back when Alicia was aboard. Gradually, though, even she was beginning to become less and less carefree. Or maybe that was only my impression. When I got back to my quarters, I was going to do a self-diagnostic double check.
  A ping came from my datapad. Juul had announced a change of plans and given me a new location to meet, this one much closer to the cadet building. Added to the message was an attachment giving me a personal security encryption key.
  Guess I’m not the only one paranoid, I ran it. One millisecond later, I was lying on the floor of my room. The only source of light came from an orange countdown timer on the walls.
  “Gregorius?” I asked forcing myself to stand up. For some reason, my body felt unusually heavy. “Gregorius?” I repeated.
  There was no reply. All my communication channels were blocked.

Next Chapter
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2020.08.03 19:20 Lylyluvda916 Mr. Shue has introduced this week’s theme: Alicia Keys. What songs will the Glee kids sing?

I am bringing these back.
This is a game/activity where you have full control of the songs Glee songs. Each Monday (switched days), I will select a theme/artist and you have to select songs you think the Glee kids will sing. You can choose to focus on only your favorites, choose not to include all the characters, etc.
This week’s artist/theme is Alicia Keys.
Alicia Keys began composing songs at age 12. She was signed when she was 15. After switching labels twice, she released “Songs in A Mirror” in 2001. It sold over 16 million copies, worldwide. Her album earned her 5 Grammy Awards in 2002. To date, she has released 7 albums and has won 15 Grammy awards.
Rules:
Title of Song:
Original Singer(s):
Character(s):
Link to Song:
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